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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 8, 2016 1:07:28 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Izzy wasn't really a fan of reading. Hell, he wasn't even sure he'd finished more than one or two books in his entire life that hadn't had a picture on every page. The few he did finish, he didn't even read for himself. He read them because someone else seemed so interested by them that he just felt the need to try and enter their world through the pages. Nevertheless, Izzy was in a place he found himself far too often. A place covered in thousands of books that he'd would never read. The library. It was a quiet place to study and there weren't a lot of people, but that wasn't really why he came. Instead of actually using it as a nice atmosphere for school work, Izzy used it to scribble in his sketchbook. He liked to draw comics as a side hobby, and he always enjoyed going to the library if he was going to do so. That's why he sat in one of the old chairs at a wooden table, flipping strands of red hair out of the way every time they fell and covered up his drawing. Even though he kept most of his hair in a braid, he couldn't be bothered to make sure the front made it's way into the style as well. He just felt it looked better that way or something. He liked things a little bit out of order, feeling that it added to the edgy vibe he'd been told he gave off to certain people.
The library reminded him of someone, and for some reason Izzy had it in his obsessive mind that if he hung around in a place he might have chosen to hang out, his mind was some how closer to his. Even though he couldn't be more wrong, he still enjoyed going. Even if he couldn't make some kind of wack spiritual connection, just being surrounded by things Kaoru liked was enough for him. It didn't matter how hard he tried to stop his brain from making every other thought and every other decision about the other boy. It was like basing his choices around him had just sort of become his default in life even if Izzy felt like they were never going to be able to be what they used to be. It was all his fault that things were this way, but even as the years passed he still found it hard to live with the decisions he'd made in regards to their friendship.
Sighing, Izzy put down his charcoal pencil. It'd made his finger tips as black as his nail polish. He looked around, watching as the last few people seemed to clear out of the place. His eyes darted over to the clock on the wall realizing that it was becoming evening time. They were probably headed off to go and grab some dinner or maybe even just make their ways in for the night. Still, Izzy didn't really feel like eating for once. He also didn't feel like heading back to his cold and empty dorm. He kind of just wanted to hang around the library a bit longer. Izzy folded his arms across each other on the table before leaning forward and using them as a pillow for his head. His eyelids felt heavier the longer he stayed there, threatening to close at any moment. He'd been out just a little too late last night which caused him to be lacking in energy for the day. Izzy stared at the direction of the clock for a few minutes before the ticking sound sang him to sleep. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [attr="class","notes"] 608 WORDS were written for OPEN — first Izzy post, yay. :3 [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 8, 2016 10:02:15 GMT
WORD COUNT @izzy | <3 BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Kaoru seemed to like Tokyo University for what it had to offer. The great books and high education, it all pushed him forward to learn more about everything. He never said no to reading more and more, though he hated nothing more than staying up late because sooner or later, it will turn his day around and soon, he wouldn't be able to catch enough sleep. He took good care of his body and his sleeping schedule to not cause any dark circles around his eyes. Once another session was over, Kaoru stood up from his seat and descended down the stairs, gracefully. Hair falling over his shoulders like a waterfall, light blue eyes that matched the color of the sea or the clear sky with no clouds disturbing the mesmerizing view. People often got lost in his hues and often mistook him for a girl because of his hair.
Some people had that curiosity that caused them to lightly touch his hair or stare harder into his eyes. Though he hated how long his hair was that it attracted unnecessary attention to it. But Izzy told him quite a few times to keep it long because it looked good on him and standing out was a good thing. Kaoru, for one, was captivated by the color of Izzy's hair and how made it look perfect almost every day without really trying. To avoid making the other upset, he kept his hair long and followed his advice. Hugging the books closer to his chest, he decided it would be better to head to the library instead of going back to his dorm.
His phone started to ring soon after he exited the court. Stuffing his hand in his pocket, he drew out the device and stared at the name. A light smile tugged on the corner of his pale lips, he excitedly answered the call. "Mother, hey!" He replied with enthusiasm, already missing the soft ring of his mother's tone and how it soothed him without even trying. Kaoru continued to drag on that light chat until he reached the library and then, she excused herself, telling him that she must get back to cooking before the kitchen could go on fire, stating that she'd missed the sweet scent of Izzy cooking which he responded back to with a distant "yeah" and then, the call ended.
His eyes caught the familiar red-head and his eyes slowly widened before he stepped closer, noticing that the other was indeed, asleep. Chuckling to himself, he rose his hand to ruffle the other's hair before leaning down to blow some air into his ear. "Izzy. Hey, wake up." He said with a soft tone, making sure not to be harsh or anything because that might scare him. - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 8, 2016 22:52:48 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * There was a faint feel of something touching his hair, and it was comforting and familiar. Still being mostly asleep, he just brushed it off as being nothing. A figment feeling of his imagination.. Shortly after he could feel warm air hitting his ear, causing him to smile in his still half asleep state as it lightly tickled him. The voice that followed the actions only made Izzy feel confused, threatening to pull him out of his dream-like state of mind. It was contradicting, because if he was hearing that voice, he felt like he must have been asleep. But his heart started pumping too quickly, and the ramming of it into his rib cage was just enough to snap him out of the state he was in. He blinked his eyes open slowly a few times before being able to have them completely open. Letting the light in was always the hardest part about waking up.
He then turned his head slightly to see gorgeous blond hair, and resisted the urge to reach out and run his fingers through the familiar sight as he tried to force himself further out of dream land and into reality. Izzy then sat up, his eyes traveling until they looked into Kaoru's blue eyes, a sight that felt like home to the red head. His heart beat from hearing his voice before couldn't even begin to keep up with the rapid pumping of it now. "K-Kaoru?" He spoke, slightly confused and rather quietly. Quiet was something that rarely happened when it came to Izzy, but being around Kaoru took his breath away enough to make him act a little different. A little better.
He shook his head slowly twice, almost as if he didn't believe what was in front of him, and then he stood up. "What are you doing here, Kao?" It felt like a stupid question considering that they were in a library, but Izzy's brain didn't exactly care to word that any better. Every time he saw Kaoru, it was like he was seeing him for the first time and it always took a minute for him to regain his composure. Izzy's brain seemed to feed on passionate dramatics with all of the emotions he couldn't help but feel so deeply all of the damn time. Almost as if he were unable to help himself, Izzy reached out and attempted to gently push some of Kaoru's blond hair behind one of his ears. Sometimes Izzy would forgot that he wasn't allowing himself to do any weird, comforting, or just touchy gestures like that anymore. It didn't seem to matter how much time passed, he still kept forgetting on occasion.
Immediately regretting his choice, Izzy took a step back and folded his arms across his chest. It was body language that he hoped would come across as closed off to make up for his recent mistake. "If you've come here to nag about how I've been avoiding the parental phone calls, there's no need." He huffed dramatically while shrugging his shoulders. "I already apologized and explained that I've just been busy and forgetful as always." His words were light as feathers, rolling off his tongue with too much ease, insinuating that everything just brushed off him. It made him sound a little more uncaring that way, or so he hoped it did. He tried to force himself to do any little tiny thing to make Kaoru know how much of a jerk he was. It was something that hurt him deeply considering how much he'd tried to avoid letting him figure that out before. He used to want Izzy to only see the best in him, even if he wasn't sure there ever was any. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 9, 2016 6:22:15 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, The other was slowly beginning to wake up. He knew how Izzy took his time to wake up, it wasn't the first time Kaoru tried to push him awake for something. The softness of his hair made Kaoru's hand sink inside, unbothered by the soft spikes he made to the shorter strands though he had to be careful not to mess out his overall look. Giving his head a small tilt, watching the other arise from his deep slumber, it only encouraged the boy to keep the circular motions of his hand inside the other's hair. A soft smile stretched upon his lips as he finally blinked and looked at Kaoru. A smile that poured a lot of emotions - he missed the other more than he thought, he'd never missed his girlfriend like that and it only scared him even more. It's because of their friendship and how strong it was. They basically knew another ever since they were kids, a friendship like that does not vanish because of some distance the other created for whatever reason. "Hey." He greeted in the usual softness of his voice.
"What are you doing here, Kao?"
He hummed thoughtfully for a moment, taking the hand that had been busy with ruffling the other's hair to rest it by his side. It seemed that Izzy was slowly earning back his old self, the one that momentarily disappeared, hidden under the blanket of sleepiness. "I'm here to read! I've heard this library has books that I never thought I could get my hands on. It's crazy!" He excitedly poured out, a grin slowly stretching upon his lips. His grin faltered for a second as the other rose his hand, but he immediately relaxed as he thought the other might push him away or fight him. He was only touching his hair and unconsciously, Kaoru leaned into his hand, revelling in the touch and the softness it had to offer.
If you've come here to nag about how I've been avoiding the parental phone calls, there's no need. I already apologized and explained that I've just been busy and forgetful as always.
The other took a step back and took away that soft hand. Normally, Kaoru wouldn't want anyone near his hair, it made him feel.. strange. Even his girlfriend was not allowed to touch his hair, now why was he permitting Izzy to do just that? He truly had no answer to offer. "Nag? no, no. I'm not here to nag you." Playfully, Kaoru took in the step that Izzy took back, squeezing their distance. "Though, I am a little upset that you don't call me like you used to. But! from now on, I believe we'll be seeing each other a lot." He said with the same excitement.
"I've missed you, Izzy." He admitted with a hint of sadness, changing his mood one hundred and eighty degrees, his expression looked like that of a sour puppy or something. Kaoru shook his head to snap out of it, not wanting to push them into a bad mood and instead, hugged the books closer to his chest. "I started attending here and it was only a matter of time before I bump into you! now we can study together like we used to, right?" Kaoru blinked a few times, looking at the other with a hopeful smile tugging on the corner of his lips. - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 9, 2016 16:12:32 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * I'm here to read! I've heard this library has books that I never thought I could get my hands on. It's crazy!
Izzy wanted nothing more than to smile at that answer, knowing how true to Kaoru's absolutely dashing personality that was. In truth, Izzy found it adorable but he fought to make sure the expression from that didn't show up on the outside. In fact, he just made sure to sigh a little. If this were anyone else, a response like that probably would have earned an eye roll out of Izzy. He had an extreme bias when it came to Kaoru.
Kaoru spoke again and then took away the distance between the two of them that Izzy had only just created by stepping back. Izzy felt his cheeks heat up slightly, and he averted his eyes. The two being close to one another used to be natural, and Izzy missed that like none other. Now it felt a little foreign, which was a bit crushing, and he just kept having to remind himself about how this was all for Kaoru's best interest. He was the most important person in the world.
But! from now on, I believe we'll be seeing each other a lot.
With the second part of his speech, Izzy's mouth went agape. No, we can't! He had to force himself from blurting out his own response to that. Luckily, he managed to keep it in his head. The more he saw Kaoru, the harder it was to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. It was so much harder to keep from hurting him by just being himself. He would do something stupid yet again sooner or later. The expression on his face was none other than fear, not even kind of matching the excitement Kaoru was wearing. I just can't control myself around you...
I've missed you, Izzy.
Izzy's heart felt like it was sinking. Those words were so sweet to his ears that he wanted nothing but to pull him into a happy hug, and apologize for all the distance he'd created. His thoughts were extreme, and there was no way in actual hell he'd actually do that. Instead he just pressed his lips together and looked down for a minute, letting the other continue to talk.
I started attending here.
"W-what?" The word slipped through his lips in the middle of Kaoru talking. It was very audible. You can't! How was Izzy supposed to keep himself away if Kaoru was going to school here? It just didn't seem possible. His expression was flustered beyond belief. Having a million miles between them would still make it hard to stay away, and now he was going to be closer again.
Now we can study together like we used to, right?
Izzy was going to tell him about how there was no way in hell that was going to be a possibility, but the moment he looked up at Kaoru's face and saw the smile that was tugging at his lips, his heart began to sank even further. Saying no to him was just so hard. Kaoru was no doubt his weakness. "Well when you put it like that..." Izzy grumbled while shifted in his stance before letting out a deep breath. He finally unlatched his arms to bend his elbows and put his hands up for a more dramatic shrug. "I mean, you won't catch me studying very often but I guess.... sometimes maybe." Izzy studied more then he liked other people to believe, he just enjoyed it when people assumed he did things with more ease and caught on quicker then the rest of them. Of course, he was never any match for Kaoru's mind.
Then a thought came to his mind, making him twitch with a little jealousy. He'd only been in Kaoru's presence for a moment, and already it was beginning to take out. "Who are you even rooming with, by the way? You know Tokyo is filled with a lot of creeps." He gave him a questionable look. "And you know how pretty you are. People will be lining up to try and take a turn at you, Kaoru." He sighed. "This really isn't the place for you. Sooner or later someone's going to trick you into getting into bed with them or something, and you won't even know what's going on." Now he might have been being mean, but he was honestly just worried about him. There were way too many girls in this school who were going to latch onto Kaoru's good looks and sweet personality and try to swallow him whole. Girls were vicious sharks that didn't know how to keep their distance. There were probably going to be some guys too, he wouldn't put it past them. They could be just as manipulative and hungry. "Honestly, Kao. Have you even thought about any of this? I highly doubt Tokyo is really the best fit for you." Izzy gave off a bothered expression though he was really just going off on one of his jealous tangents. In fact, he wasn't even one hundred percent sure whether or not Kaoru was still with little, disgusting, aggressive Akira. Izzy wasn't sure he could hate anyone more then that little manipulative witch even if he did provoke her to be that way in the first place. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 9, 2016 20:24:55 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, I mean, you won't catch me studying very often but I guess.... sometimes maybe.
That was enough to draw a grin over his lips. The other didn't even have to try to dig deep in order to win Kaoru over or make him smile by some long attempts. All he had to do was accept his offer. "That's alright. Anytime is good for me. I don't want to bother you." He said, offering a light shrug at that before stretching yet another smile over his soft lips. He was a little sad, though he might not admit it out loud. He wanted the two of them to hug it out, to feel as if that curse called 'distance' was no longer between them and no longer keeping Kaoru from getting comfortable with Izzy. He missed how light their days used to be, full of laughter and just carefree of what weight the world had to offer. All of that made sense as he grew older, Izzy was truly the one in pain and he never wanted them to test the infected water where they'd have to part ways.
Who are you even rooming with, by the way? You know Tokyo is filled with a lot of creeps.
"Oh you shouldn't say that! you know it's not polite to judge people before you meet them." He gave a shake of his head like a disapproving father scolding his son who'd done something wrong. "I share a room with a guy. He looks nice enough, he even said I was a good roommate and he was lucky to have me around. I think I'm already making friends." But I don't want to make any, I'm alright with just having you. His mind completed the sentence for him, but he fell short with his words to not scare the other off as it might push him to put more distance between them.
And you know how pretty you are. People will be lining up to try and take a turn at you, Kaoru.
Pretty? The word echoed for a moment, as light as that compliment was, and how Izzy said it like he was merely commenting on the weather. "Why would they do that?" Kaoru asked with a great hint of obliviousness shadowing the corner of his tone. He just gave a shrug of his shoulders, "That won't happen if I don't allow it, Izzy." Kaoru never wanted others to get that close with him, even if his ex never tried to claim his lips into a searing kiss, Kaoru wanted his first time trying everything to be with someone he'd chosen with his heart and mind, not just by twisted feelings and surprised emotions at the mere fact of someone falling in love with him.
This really isn't the place for you. Sooner or later someone's going to trick you into getting into bed with them or something, and you won't even know what's going on.
A small confused frown took over his forehead as he rested a hand on his hip, trying to act 'cool', just to have the books slip out of his one hand grasp. He released an unmanly noise as he tried to grasp the books before it fell to the ground. The last thing he needed was that.. His panic finally stopped when he caught the books, releasing a small huff as he moved his hand to slide away the long strand of hair that fell over his shoulder. "Why would they trick me? Why would they be interested in getting me into bed?" He asked, confused by the shift of moods between them. "Plus, they won't do anything if they knew I had you." Kaoru smiled softly, shifting from one foot to another, hugging the books tightly to his chest. "You don't have to worry about me, Izzy! I'll be okay."
Honestly, Kao. Have you even thought about any of this? I highly doubt Tokyo is really the best fit for you.
Kaoru pressed his lips into a tight line, giving a light shake of his head, indicating that he'd not thought about any of that. He never did. He just thought everyone would be as light-hearted as him and as caring as Izzy. "Tokyo is the best fit for me and I know that now," Kaoru admitted, giving yet another shrug of his shoulders. "You are here and I feel like that's more than enough for me. If anything like that happens to me, I'll be sure to tell you. For now, it's useless to think about that, I mean no one would want to be with me. Akira made that very clear in one of her.. fits. But! don't worry about any of that, I'm not with her anymore and I forgave her a while back and I forgive you, even though you'd done nothing wrong. You should just know that I'd always forgive you." Kaoru moved to set his books aside, stretching his arms with a small sigh, turning back to look at Izzy with a light smile on his lips yet again. "So! tell me, what've you been up to?" - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 9, 2016 21:08:15 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * That's alright. Anytime is good for me. I don't want to bother you.
Izzy's lip twitched ever so slightly as he held in his comment. Kaoru was never a bother. Not once, even in the worst of times, even when he'd yelled at him back then about his girlfriend, had Izzy ever felt he was a bother. Any time Kaoru was around, his world was just so much brighter. He hated himself for making Kaoru ever think that he could possibly be a bother, but he knew that for the sake of what he was doing, he couldn't exactly deny it to him either. It was such a loose-loose situation.
Oh you shouldn't say that! you know it's not polite to judge people before you meet them.
Classic Kaoru. Izzy would probably actually burn Kaoru's ears if he told him half the things he felt about people. He was just so naive to the world, and even if Izzy would've given anything to make him to the dark side in other people to keep him safe, he wanted him to stay exactly as innocent as he was. Such contradiction always tugged at his thoughts, leaving him so confused in his own head so often.
Izzy let out a sigh, knowing that he was going to have to try and crush every positive thing he''d just said. It hurt him to do so, but his jealousy didn't seem to let him act any other way. "How do you know your roommates not just being a freak and watching you in your sleep? People actually do that, Kao." He might have been being a little ridiculous, but Izzy wouldn't put it past someone considering his obsessive self might have watched Kaoru sleep with wanting eyes once or twice in their life time. Okay so it was more then once or twice.... He admitted to himself. But that's exactly my point. He was glad Kaoru was making friends, as jealous as he was, but he left that part out of it. He felt like such an asshole, but he wasn't sure he should have even bothered to try and make himself sound better. It pained him to think that one day the negativity that had developed in his heart over the years would make Kaoru hate him, but he wondered if maybe that's what the object of his affections needed to do. It might have been better for him to just not want Izzy around.
Why would they do that? That won't happen if I don't allow it, Izzy.
Izzy pressed his lips together. Did Kaoru really not understand how horrible some people could be? In his eyes, Kaoru was like a fucking unicorn. His attractiveness was so rare and off the charts that there wasn't even a chance everyone else in the world didn't see him that way. If some heard his thoughts, they'd probably call him delusional, but he just couldn't help how intense he was. It was just so angering that Kaoru didn't understand that some people were so horrible in this world that they wouldn't even give him a chance. Izzy saw everyone on the planet through harsh eyes, trusting no one but Kaoru himself. He believed every body else in the world had an agenda and feared they'd try to snuff out Kaoru's light. He would have probably trapped him in a box to keep others away if he could. Izzy tried to brush his thoughts away, now feeling like more of a creep then ever before.
Kaoru seemed to have lost his grips on one of the book's he was holding, and Izzy immediately let go of his pose to reach out and try to help him catch it, but Kaoru had already done so. Izzy retreated back into his previous position, looking more closed off then before.
Why would they trick me? Why would they be interested in getting me into bed? Plus, they won't do anything if they knew I had you.
"They don't know that, Kao." He spat out quickly. How could they? He doubted it would stop any of the vultures anyways. Besides, Kaoru didn't even know exactly how much of Izzy he truly owned. Every inch of his presence was devoted to the blond, and he still had no idea. He didn't just have his heart, he had his soul too. Still, the fact that Kaoru said what he had made Izzy feel like maybe he had him in another way... In the same way Kaoru had him. He pushed the thought aside, knowing that it was just hopeful thinking that kept his heart aching like it did.
You should just know that I'd always forgive you.
When Kaoru spoke about Akira, Izzy's mouth dropped for a moment. His heart started sinking deeper into his chest. "You're not... with her anymore?" As happy as it made him, it also hurt to think that there was a chance that his action years ago caused something to happen that might have caused Kaoru heartache. He never wanted him to feel sad, and his anger toward the girl was simply growing. He also was well aware of the fact that Kaoru forgave him, but Izzy just couldn't move forward without forgiving himself. That just seemed like an impossible task now.
So! tell me, what've you been up to?
Izzy's right eye twitched. "How is just so easy for you to move along like everything is fine?" He was so stubborn that he just couldn't drop the subject. It was another disgusting quality that he owned. Izzy took a few steps forward into Kaoru, attempting to back him up into the book shelf before grabbing onto his shoulder with one hand and attempting to latch his hand around Kaoru's waste with the other. Then he moved his face forward, leaning in until his lips were brushing again Kaoru's ear. A hand went up to move his blond hair out of the way before tightening on his waste one more. He was doing his best to seem threatening. He just had to get his point across. He'd read about too many things, and every time he had all he could think about was the trouble Kaoru would have been in had he gone to this school. And now... here he was. "Tell me, Kaoru..." He whispered into his ear as his own heart began to feel like it was beating out of his chest. "What are you going to do if someone backs you into a wall? Are you strong enough to escape?" The last thing he wanted to do was scare Kaoru, but he wasn't sure how to make him understand. "What's telling me about it later going to do then?" Aside from giving me an excuse to earn a spot in jail for murder. He slid his hand from his waste around to his back before moving away from his ear to look into his eyes. "Don't you understand how much I worry about you?" I am legitimately a crazy ass-hat, Kaoru. He kept the coarse language to himself. He was really letting everything he read get to him, but maybe it would even be enough to make Kaoru go home. Then they'd be at a safe distance again, and he wouldn't have to worry about his jealousy raging out of control by the amount of people Kaoru would probably be speaking to on a daily basis. He was too nice not to have everyone be drawn to him. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [attr="class","notes"] 1254 WORDS were written for Kaoru Himura — Sorry, I may have gotten a little bit carried away~ [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 9, 2016 23:23:36 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, How do you know your roommates not just being a freak and watching you in your sleep? People actually do that, Kao.
Kaoru thought about it for a moment and it made his face drop to one that was absolutely terrified of something like that happening to him. But he knew the odd chances of that happening to him out of everyone. Surely not everyone would do that and his mind managed to convince him that his roommate was nothing but a saint shoved in the wrong direction, forced to become a part of the university to survive or to feed that certain need of knowing more about whatever he decided to major in. He couldn't argue with him, but he also knew that he shouldn't judge, even a part of him felt guilty for actually considering that his roommate was nothing but a closet pervert. Huffing a small air, a small sign of irritation as Kaoru tried his best not to consider the worst scenario that could happen. The other surely would not force him to do anything against his will. Surely.
You're not... with her anymore?
Kaoru gave a light shake of his head, "no, we parted on good terms, though." He could vaguely remember how they parted away. Maybe it did not fit the description of good terms, her end of speech was filled with nothing but angry while Kao's was filled with 'sorry' and 'I never wanted this to happen'. He wanted to put that break-up as something that was not a mistake made by him or driven by his own actions. Life had its own way of taking away things, either by parting on bad terms or good ones, or maybe not even having the chance to bid the other farewell. "Please, it's not your fault. I know you think it is, for that fight that happened back there. But it's not. It just didn't work, that's all."
How is just so easy for you to move along like everything is fine?
Just like how it was easy for you to leave.. His mind wanted to say a lot of things, but he knew how disrespectful and rude that might sound. He'd never say that out loud, no matter how loud his thoughts might get or how tempting the scenario might be for a 'heart to heart' pouring moment. It would just wound them both and he wanted them to slowly move past that moment like it had never happened before. He wanted them to grow back into a comfortable playground, to be at ease around one another and not that unfamiliar stiff feeling surrounding them. "It's just.. I don't want you to be sad," he admitted without thinking twice. That was one of the reasons, honestly, he knew the other one would push Izzy away, so he immediately threw it away into the abyss of his own mind.
If he was the one to try and eat away the distance between them, it suddenly felt strange for Izzy to be the one doing that and he didn't stop until he breached Kao's personal bubble, forcing him to back away until his back was met with the book shelf, his hand squeezing the shelf in his hand, trying not to make it fall by the impact of him hitting it. His eyes were wide, breathing a little erratic from the surprise and slowly, Kao brought his own confidence to the play, pushing his eyes up to meet those of Izzy's. "Izzy?" he whispered, confused by the other's bold actions.
The other was standing too close, Kao could feel his breath hit his face before his face disappeared completely from his view and Kaoru blinked a few times in confusion before he felt the same hot air hit the shell of his ear, sending mysterious shivers up and down his spine. His hand unconsciously went up to press against Izzy's chest, either to push him back or hold onto something, he didn't really know. All he knew was that his wrinkling the other's shirt between his fingers as he tried to compose himself.
Tell me, Kaoru... What are you going to do if someone backs you into a wall? Are you strong enough to escape? What's telling me about it later going to do then?
His lips parted to think of something to say. To think of a way that he could break loose, but he couldn't do it. "I'd.. kick them..?" He could no longer trust his voice after that, he kept pushing at the other's chest to push him away, but a part of him did not want him to be gone. "Just, please, Izzy.." Please what? his mind questioned, gears shifting inside his brain, way too much as it slowly started to tire him out. What was the most rational thing to do in this situation? He could no longer tell.
Don't you understand how much I worry about you?
Looking into the other's eyes, Kaoru felt a light smile tug on his lips, despite how scared he was a few minutes ago. "I understand," his hand came up to rest over the other's cheek. "That's why I always feel safe around you." He said without hesitation, letting his hand drop down, afraid of pushing Izzy way too far that it would break his comfortable zone even though Izzy broke his. "But, I won't let you push me away again. I can't lose you, Izzy. I won't. So do whatever you please, fight me, yell at me, scare me. I'll still come back. To you. Because when my parents aren't around, you're my.. home, if that makes any sense." Kaoru chuckled sheepishly to himself, giving yet another shrug. "Maybe you can tell me what to do.. In a situation like this." - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 10, 2016 5:49:54 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Izzy watched Kaoru's expression, hoping that what he was saying was actually getting through to him on some level. His roommate probably wasn't a creepy, but Izzy didn't even want to think about whoever the bastard was getting even closed to Kaoru at night. Izzy felt that even if his roommate didn't swing that way, Kaoru's pretty face would have been enough to turn him. Izzy was irrational, but there was no way to change the way he thought about everything. He viewed the world in a very twisted way. It just seemed to get worse over the years.
No, we parted on good terms, though.
Good terms meant that there was a chance Kaoru wasn't saddened by it all, and that was a relief. He was really hoping Kaoru just ended up realizing she wasn't good enough for him. It wasn't like Izzy thought he'd actually be any better for him, but at least he thought he had what it would take to actually care for Kaoru. In his mind, he needed to be protected. It was kind of horrible that Izzy just seemed to assume Kaoru couldn't take care of himself, but he couldn't change his way of thinking. He really hoped he wasn't always coming across as if he was looking down on Kaoru for his sweet an sensitive personality. Really he only acted the way he did because he thought the world of him.
Please, it's not your fault. I know you think it is, for that fight that happened back there. But it's not. It just didn't work, that's all.
Izzy shrugged. "Im sure it-" He hesitated saying the rest of it at loud, but just went for it anyways. "-was part of it." Kaoru probably just didn't want him feel bad about it or something. That's why he was so quick to dismiss his actions. "I mean, I never thought she was good enough for you." He smirked, unsure if he was allowed to really admit that even though the two were over. "And honestly, uhhh... You know what? Never mind." He chuckled, still not ready to really admit to Kaoru that he'd been sure to let her know just how much she wasn't good enough for Kaoru quite a couple times.
Unfortunately, now Izzy had a whole new fear. He couldn't have been sure, but he assumed the two had already gone at it, and now a second person was eventually going to get to have him in that way as soon as Kaoru found another person to date. Izzy was pretty damn sure that person wasn't going to be good enough for him either. His first instinct would probably be the same as last, to try and push his next lover away as much as he could. However, he was just going to have to refuse and leave it be. He wanted Kaoru to be happy, and that meant if he ever found another, Izzy was sure he was going to have to move to another country or he'd probably be unable to control his urge to medal once again. A sigh escaped him quietly as he thought about it.
It's just.. I don't want you to be sad.
Izzy smirked and shook his head. He'd practically abandoned Kaoru. He should have been pissed, and he should have let him know just how mad he was. Still, there he went again saying such sweet words that made Izzy's heart flutter to know that he still cared about him. "You don't have to worry." He shrugged. "I couldn't be happier. School's going great." That was a lie of course. A huge lie considering that every damn day of his life his thoughts were still consumed by how much he missed the one he loved. Izzy wondered if he needed therapy for his obsessive nature. If Kaoru was a mind reader, he'd probably be extremely afraid of him. Izzy wouldn't even be able to blame him. Sometimes he wondered if there was something wrong with his brain that made him feel so damn deeply. It's not like Izzy'd never gotten the chance to be with others. He'd had a few throw themselves at him at parties or in other situations, but not once had Izzy accepted. Hell, he'd dodged someone so hard once they'd fallen on their face. Then he'd taken it upon himself to laugh at them like a complete jackass. Moments like that proved just how much he didn't deserve to be around someone as kind as Kaoru.
Kaoru's hand on his chest was enough to send a shiver down his spine. He wanted to be touched by him, even if it was just a simple gesture of him trying to protect himself. Izzy had no doubt he was trying to push him away. The thought of that stung even though it's exactly what he wanted Kaoru to be able to do in a moment like this. Kaoru's fingers could be felt through his shirt, and Izzy was almost afraid he'd be able to feel his heart as it beat so hard it threatened to break out of his chest. Being this close was a mistake. He knew that. But he'd already started making it. It was too late.
I'd.. kick them..?
Izzy let out a short chuckle into his ear at his response. Good. That was a start. At least he wouldn't just stand there, unwilling to do anything. It put Izzy a little more at ease about it, even though it was getting hard to concentrate on his own point now. There was a time that felt like forever ago now where Izzy was sure he would have been able to be this close to him while being in full control. Apparently whatever tolerance he might of had was gone now.
Just, please, Izzy..
Please what? Please back away? Please get the hell off? He wished Kaoru would finish that statement just so he could figure out his exact level of fear right now. He couldn't place it, and he was afraid to look back at his eyes. He was afraid to see him trembling or frightened. He wasn't sure what to expect if he did decide to look back. Nevertheless, he pulled away from his ear, but didn't let go or back off the other just yet. He dragged his eyes along with his face until he was staring into the others. He had to keep himself focused enough so that he wouldn't tremble as he searched the other's eyes for an answer to his question.
I understand.
It was then that he couldn't control his eyes from trembling anymore. Kaoru's hand on his cheek felt warm, and it made him want to just pull the other into him completely and never let go. His emotions were hitting a high as he tried to tell his heart beat to slow down before he ended up having a heart attack in the middle of the library.
That's why I always feel safe around you.
His hand dropped, and the cold air replaced the once warm touch. Izzy missed it almost immediately. Then Kaoru kept speaking words that Izzy desperately wanted to hear even if he knew it was wrong. It went against everything he was trying to do. "Kao, I..." He wasn't even sure what to say. Nothing was going to feel right, and it was all going to be the opposite of what he should have been saying. "It makes sense... I just..." Izzy leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Kaoru's and closing his eyes to try and get a hold of his rapid moving thoughts. They were so close, but he couldn't let go of him. Not yet. "I'm not your home. And the boy you knew is gone. You already have nothing to come back to." The words stung even just to say, because half of it was a lie. He wasn't the same anymore, that was obvious. But... Kaoru would always be able to come back to him, even if Izzy wished he could just run far enough away that he wouldn't be able to hurt him ever again. His heart was tightening in his chest, and pain was taking over. It was written all over his face, but Izzy was hoping that they were too close together now for him to notice.
Maybe you can tell me what to do.. In a situation like this.
Izzy smirked through the pain at that statement. This could actually work out in his favor. Izzy had been longing to be this close to him again for a long time now, and his obsession with the other was making it really hard to pull away. Maybe he could make Kaoru do it, and it would double as sort of... a learned experience. "Knee me..." He shrugged a little, finding himself grabbing onto the back of Kaoru's shirt knowing that their closeness was about to be broken with this. He really wished he could freeze time, but he knew even if he couldn't, it would be right. Izzy really didn't think Kaoru understood how much he was probably one of those creeps that he was warning him about. "Really hard. Right between the legs." He chuckled lightly. "You'll see just how effective it is. Just make sure you don't hold anything back." He was probably really, really, really going to regret this decision, but at the same time he knew he'd deserve it. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [attr="class","notes"] 1583 WORDS were written for Kaoru Himura — I swear, I'll try to cut down the next one. >.< [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 10, 2016 12:12:07 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Im sure it- was part of it. I mean, I never thought she was good enough for you.
Kaoru's hands were tied when it came to stopping Izzy from blaming himself for something that was not his fault. The other always blamed himself for almost everything related to him as if he wanted to suck out his own energy to give it to Kao, or wanted to protect him from the petals of the hanging rose, afraid it would hurt Kao's head. But never once did he feel helpless, if anything, he really loved the feeling of being cared for and protect by the only person he had in his life, aside from his own parents. Even Akira did not play a part of his family picture, nor did he invite her to eat dinner with his parents. Giving a small tilt of his head then a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Really? Who do you think is good enough for me?" He asked teasingly. "Well, if you'd said anything, I'd have listened to you."
And honestly, uhhh... You know what? Never mind.
By then, Kaoru's eyebrows shot up and a curious expression took over, wanting nothing more but to hear the part that Izzy kept to himself. "Aww, now I'm definitely curious. Tell me, don't be ridiculous." He even went far because he allowed a small pout to pull on his lower lip, trying to persuade Izzy into telling him by doing silly faces. He wanted to know what Izzy thought, what he was hiding from him, he wanted to know everything about his friend because he felt that way it would bring them closer and slowly fix what was broken between them. Kao wanted nothing more but to reach and touch his cheek, to whisper soothing words into his ear, telling him over and over that he was right here, for him.
You don't have to worry. I couldn't be happier. School's going great.
Kaoru felt at ease upon hearing that, but that small ache in his heart told him that maybe something was amiss. "Well, I know that you wouldn't lie to me, so I trust your words! I'm glad it's going great for you. You're super smart, so I wouldn't worry about school." Kaoru said, a little cheekily for his taste, but he was very happy to know the other was surviving well without Kao. It made him feel at ease that his friend didn't pause or block the way ahead of him. He had a great future ahead of him and he would hate nothing more but to be the reason that Izzy stopped reaching for that future.
The short chuckle sent shivers down his spine. Did he say something wrong? Was kicking the harassing man a wrong move to do? But it was better than being completely still, allowing the other to have his way with him. Though Kao was pretty sure that kind of person existed in the dark corners, in places he'd never visited or mainly passed by with great cautious. He wouldn't get chosen out of million others, right? Plus, if he'd talked it out with that person, maybe he'd stop. Though, something told him that talking out would not be a choice, definitely not to a predator who'd already fixated his hungry gaze on a helpless victim.
Kao, I.. It makes sense... I just... I'm not your home. And the boy you knew is gone. You already have nothing to come back to.
It almost felt as if his heart was being shattered into million pieces as they all clattered to the ground beneath his steady feet and slowly, the hard ground started to shift and suddenly, he was no longer steady. His eyes widened slowly, light blue eyes unable to find a place to settle, his forehead pressed against the other, his fingers clutching harder into the soft fabric of Izzy's shirt. "Don't.. Don't say that," he whispered, his tone a little shaky. Catching his bottom lip between his pearl teeth, attempting to stop his chin from wobbling like a child who'd just lost his candy. "You can't tell me this, you don't have the right to decide for me. I still want you, Izzy, I still want you in my life. Even if the boy I knew is gone, which I don't believe, not even if you print it on my skin. As long as you're here, alive and breathing, then I have something to come back to. You can't push me away forever." Kaoru challenged back, his tone still unsteady, almost making his confidence crumble to the ground.
Knee me... Really hard. Right between the legs. You'll see just how effective it is. Just make sure you don't hold anything back.
Kaoru took a moment to grasp everything, nodding automatically without truly understanding the other. Once he did, his head stopped nodding and his eyes shot open. "No! no, no." He shook his head a few times, hurting Izzy like that would absolutely break him. "I don't want to do that, plus, you are not harassing me, why would I do that to you? You aren't doing anything against my will. I could push you back, I am capable of doing that, but I don't.. want to." He admitted, his confidence rising and slowly, he realized that he was babbling nonsense.
"I'd rather do this," he mumbled before slowly pulling the other into an embrace, even if it was one-sided, he still latched himself to the other, arms wrapped around him. He wanted to do that the moment he saw him, but when they got carried away with words, he soon forgot about that, now he suddenly felt complete. - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 10, 2016 15:43:17 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Really? Who do you think is good enough for me?
He frowned at the other's teasing. He wasn't even going to bother to answer that question, because the answer was simple. No one. No one ever had been or ever was going to be good enough for Kaoru. Not in Izzy's eyes. That's why he needed to stay away, or Kaoru was never going to be happy. Izzy would find something wrong with every single person that came into Kaoru's life and sabotage his every relationship, unable to stop himself, until Kaoru had nothing left. And he really didn't want that for him.
Well, if you'd said anything, I'd have listened to you.
Izzy blinked a few times at that. He'd never really thought it would have actually been that simple, and despite how much he would have wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to flat tell him that. At least, he couldn't at the time. He was just too shocked that Kaoru'd found himself a girlfriend in the first place, or rather she'd found him, that Izzy hadn't reacted right in the slightest. Plus, despite how much he hated her, he wouldn't have been able to say it. He wasn't sure Kaoru would have listened to him despite him saying otherwise.
Aww, now I'm definitely curious. Tell me, don't be ridiculous.
Kaoru's pout was hard to resist, and Izzy wasn't sure he was really capable of doing it at all. He also was unsure he could really tell him what he wanted to say. To his own disagreement, Kaoru's pout won and the words slipped out of Izzy's mouth. "No one's ever going to be good enough for you." He sighed lightly. "Not a single damn person on this planet is ever going to be good enough for you." He felt almost cruel letting him in on what he considered to be a secret. "And I don't want you to be alone, but I... I don't want you to have to settle either." More contradictory. It was an impossible situation.
Well, I know that you wouldn't lie to me, so I trust your words! I'm glad it's going great for you. You're super smart, so I wouldn't worry about school.
It pained him that Kaoru was trusting him so easily, and he felt guiltly about his lie more so then he had when it'd come out of his mouth. Sure, he might have been doing really well in all of his classes, but when it came to actually being happy, he was far from it. He didn't have any friends, because he didn't like anyone. Anybody he had made friends with bailed as soon as Izzy did one little thing to piss them off, which was like second nature to him. He'd already used and manipulated many in his years here, and he would continue to do so if Kaoru wasn't around. Kaoru was the only thing that ever put a damper on his less then pleasant personality in order to keep him in check. Not wanted to disappoint him usually pushed him to be a little better. However, since distancing himself from Kaoru, he let out all of the bad and there were quite a few stories Izzy now feared Kaoru was going to end up hearing about him here.
Don't.. Don't say that. You can't tell me this, you don't have the right to decide for me. I still want you, Izzy, I still want you in my life. Even if the boy I knew is gone, which I don't believe, not even if you print it on my skin. As long as you're here, alive and breathing, then I have something to come back to. You can't push me away forever.
Kaoru would never understand that Izzy said the things that were best for him. Or at least, he truly believed that they were. Kaoru continued talking, and Izzy began to feel his heart skip a beat with every other word that came out of the other's mouth. He was right. He couldn't decide for him, but he still had to try. His mouth was pressed in a straight line as he hesitated to speak again, unsure of what he should even say anymore. The fact that he was willing to say he still wanted him was bitter sweet. It was exactly what he wanted to hear, but exactly what he wished not to hear. It made it that much harder to stay away and resist being around him. Izzy swallowed his emotions and smirked. "You don't know what I've done, Izzy. You shouldn't be so quick to assume that's what you want. I've become quite the bad guy." He said it as matter-of-factly as he could manage. "Your parents would be very disappointed in how I've turned out if they only knew the half of it." Though he doubted they'd be even half as disappointed as Kaoru.
No! no, no.
The other's protesting made Izzy's lip twitch a little bit.
I don't want to do that, plus, you are not harassing me, why would I do that to you? You aren't doing anything against my will. I could push you back, I am capable of doing that, but I don't.. want to.
He furrowed his brow a little bit at his saying that he didn't want to, and his heart was sure to respond by skipping another beat. He knew he was doing that thing where he looked for ulterior motives behind what Kaoru was saying in his brain again. He twisted it around to sound sweeter, though he knew he was absolutely wrong. It wasn't like Kaoru wanted to be as close as Izzy longed to be to him, right? It just wasn't possible, and it made him ache to know that if only Kaoru really understood how Izzy felt by being so close to him, he'd probably take back that resistance, knee him, and run. And Izzy wouldn't blame him.
I'd rather do this.
Izzy's eyes widened as he was pulled into an embrace, and he stood there frozen as Kaoru's arms wrapped around him. He was trembling, and he was hoping Kaoru couldn't feel his body doing so. He felt the strings of his heart being pulled and he swallowed hard. Break away, Izzy. He knew he needed to, and he was begging himself too, but the feel of Kaoru's warm embrace made it incredibly hard to do so. Impossible almost. Resisting him was too hard when Kaoru was the very definition of love to Izzy. He was absolutely everything Izzy wanted in life and more. Slowly, Izzy moved his own arms around Kaoru completely now and moved his head over his shoulder. He then buried his face into it and tightened his embrace. He pressed his body into Kaoru's, still trembling as he tried to get even closer. He was so mad at himself for giving in, but he just couldn't stop.
Izzy felt his eyes begin to water. He missed this so much. He had been longing to be in a moment like this for so long that he felt pathetic. One of his hands weaved it's self into Kaoru's soft hair, and he wondered if he was even allowed to do such a thing anymore. He didn't even feel the right to feel what he was feeling from his embrace since he'd done him so wrong. "K-Kaoru," Izzy spoke his name into his shoulder as the tears finally feel enough to wet the material. He couldn't believe he was breaking this easily, but at the same time, he more then believed it. This was Kaoru. The keeper of his heart. His love. His obsession. Izzy was practically mental for him, so in reality the fact that he was starting to cry was far too plausible. "I am harassing you." He took in a muffled breath. "Never let anyone get this close to you." How many people had Kaoru held close like this? He was so kind and comforting that Izzy was willing to bet the list would be long. He lifted his head up and starred at his shoulder before clearing his throat, still holding onto him just as tightly. "Now kick me." Despite the tears, he'd manged to hold a serious, somewhat angry tone. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 10, 2016 23:14:35 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Izzy looked lost, for the most part, right then, Kao felt truly tied to a solid ground. He couldn't make him feel better, nor could he wipe away a tear that wasn't even there. He could only acknowledge what he saw with his own eyes. That's why he was always so oblivious when it came to feelings and their true intentions, some let out a kind laugh, to easily win a place in the other's heart while the other did it to manipulate and pull strings. But as far as Kaoru's knowledge ran, the dark side of everything remained unknown and untouched by him. He remained completely oblivious to bad intentions or the lingering meaning behind flirtatious words.
No one's ever going to be good enough for you. Not a single damn person on this planet is ever going to be good enough for you.
He felt himself blink quite a few times, trying to squeeze the words into his mind, shift and turn them along with the gears in there. He tried to grasp the other side of the rope where he'd understand Izzy's motive behind his words, but he was completely lost. Not a single person. That almost made his eyebrows furrow, a sympathetic expression taking over. "Oh, Izzy.." He whispered, unable to connect his words together to form a proper speech. But he didn't want that to be the truth, or else he might end up alone, but he did know that Izzy was good enough for him and soon enough, his mind completed the sentence for him as a good friend while his heart gave a strange ache about that ending.
And I don't want you to be alone, but I... I don't want you to have to settle either.
That seemed impossible. The way he said it and Kao only listened with a small smile gracing his lips. "Then I won't be in a relationship. As simple as that, until you say I should be. I don't really feel obligated to find someone to settle in with. Something's.. amiss, I guess." He was willing to find Izzy blindly and he didn't have a choice and if he did, he wasn't considering it. It felt like if his parents weren't around to take good care of him, Izzy would be more than enough for that task and it made him feel awfully safe, it was that kind of warmth that soon shifted into something else, but it all felt the same to him, so he wasn't able to tell that he felt something for his friend that was more than a strong friendship. He remained oblivious to the fact that Akira had feelings for him until she confessed to him and he even answered back to her confession with a small 'what' and a light chuckle that might have sounded rude by then, but that was not his intention, he was just.. surprised.
You shouldn't be so quick to assume that's what you want. I've become quite the bad guy.
That was exactly what he was doing. Assuming that's what he wanted from the beginning. He wanted to remain by Izzy's side, supporting him, pushing him forward until he could collect the broken pieces again. Even if the broken could no longer be fixed, he could try, trying is better than giving up completely. Tilting his head, his blue eyes meeting with the charming color of the other's eyes. His lips parted to let out a dry protest at that, but his tongue was tied in a knot and no words could come out.
Your parents would be very disappointed in how I've turned out if they only knew the half of it.
Why was he saying that? Honestly, Izzy looked pretty much the same to him, he didn't do anything bad in front of him so he couldn't support his words, all he could do was let out a small sigh, pressing his parted lips to a thin line instead of letting his lips part and close like a gaping fish in the water. His mind was preoccupied with a lot of things, a lot of lost words that wanted to spill out, a lot of things he wanted to do, but he couldn't do half of it. "C'mon, Izzy.. Didn't you say before that what they don't know won't hurt them?" Kaoru shrugged his shoulders, "I still accept you, I'll always accept you. A bad person or a good one, you're still the same person to me, the one who cooks delicious food and would never fail to make me feel alright, despite everything."
Once they fell into an embrace, Kaoru sucked in a small breath, the scent of the other clouding his nostrils, his heart fluttering in his chest and eyes squeezed shut, afraid that a tear would slip down his cheek. But he was always quick to cry. His eyelids squeezed, trying to block the tear from falling, the moment he opened his eyes and dared to blink, a single tear slid down the soft skin of his cheek. He held the other close, the same embrace he'd wanted to do for such a long time, it made him feel at home.
Burying his face into the other's neck, Kaoru let out a trembling sigh, still clutching into the other's shirt. Everything poured through the simple tears that slid down his cheeks. He'd missed this, a lot. He started to feel complete once again. There was always that void emptiness in his chest after Izzy placed that haunting distance between them. "I-Izzy." He whispered back, feeling the other's tears stain his shirt, but he wasn't bothered by that. Instead, he noticed that he was doing the same thing.
I am harassing you.
When it all broke, Kaoru quickly wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, sniffing once. He laughed nervously at how childish it was of them to cry like that. He released a trembling sigh, blinking a few times to make sure no tears remained. Was he, really? Kaoru's eyes widened, feeling his stomach twist lightly. He thought that the hug would be enough to make Izzy forget about that awful thing he wanted Kaoru to do. "You're not.." He whispered, denying it quickly.
Never let anyone get this close to you. Now kick me.
"Okay." He agreed to the other's first command of never letting anyone get close to him. "I won't." He promised, willing to make an exception for Izzy, though. That silly command came back, though his voice now was angry and serious. It sent shivers down his spine and Kaoru looked down at the ground, refusing to obey that command. He could hurt whoever harassed him, he did know that a kick to the groin would be more than enough to push them away for a moment or two until they'd gain composure, but until they do, it was his chance to fight or run. Pulling away from the embrace, looking into Izzy's eyes.
He was capable of moving his leg and capable of raising it to knee the other, but he couldn't do it. Not when it was Izzy he was about to hit. Even when he was angry at him, he never hit him or pushed him away for that matter. "No." He replied dryly, his previous cheekiness disappearing to turn into something determined to keep that answer negative. "Kicking you would hurt both of us and I never want to see you in pain, knowing that I was the one behind it. So please, don't ask me to do that. Even if you, as you're saying, harassing me, I won't do it. So stop it, please?" Kaoru said rather softly, his tone changing completely from the previous determination.
"I'm just.. Really happy to see you and I want us to spend some time together and I'd rather that you spend it perfectly healthy and not suffering from a hit between the legs." He said rather sheepishly, using his hand to draw away a few strands of hair away from his face before collecting his hair on one side. "Hey, do you have something to do now? Maybe we can go back to my dorm and watch a movie? I think my roommate won't be there right now. If he is, then it would be a good chance to introduce you!" - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 11, 2016 0:57:31 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Then I won't be in a relationship. As simple as that, until you say I should be. I don't really feel obligated to find someone to settle in with. Something's.. amiss, I guess.
Those were the words Izzy wanted to hear, but he still felt a strange bitterness about them. He was glad that something wasn't right when it came to being with people for Kaoru. Everything about what he'd just said pleased his jealous tendencies, and he could barely keep the smile from twitching up onto his lips. It was still just so damn bittersweet though. It made him feel controlling. Izzy loved control, but this type of control just didn't feel right. He could manipulate anyone in the world, but when he felt like he was doing it in a such a way that would make Kaoru feel unhappy like this, he just felt sick about it. "No," he spoke, still in denial about what he was going to say out loud. "Only you can decide that." He might have said that words he knew he was supposed to, but something inside of him was telling him that he still felt like he was hoping Kaoru'd actually let him decide. Then again, if that were the case, Kaoru would never get to be with anyone again. He wanted to groan in frustration. Kaoru wasn't his, but his mind was still going back and forth from acting like he was. "If you let me, you'll be alone forever." He admitted to him with a chuckle. "I mean, I did just tell you that I don't think anyone deserves you."
C'mon, Izzy.. Didn't you say before that what they don't know won't hurt them? I still accept you, I'll always accept you. A bad person or a good one, you're still the same person to me, the one who cooks delicious food and would never fail to make me feel alright, despite everything.
He was throwing Izzy's own words back at him, causing the red head to frown. He couldn't really argue with that, because that's what he'd thought about a lot of things. That was his response to almost everything he'd done growing up that might not have been approved by the parentals. He still couldn't understand why Kaoru just kept accepting him like he did. Even if he said he'd accept him always, would that hold true if he'd been around when Izzy was acting out? Maybe that's what he needed to do the next time he had the chance was act out in front of him. It would be a painful thing, but he wasn't really sure what else to do. Why can't you just let me go, Kaoru? The question pushed it's self around in his brain. "Just wait. You're going to open up those bright blues and figure it all out sooner or later." A small sighed escaped him, emotions still running wild.
Kaoru's face buried in his neck sent another shiver down his spine, and it only made him hold on tighter. He was afraid he was going to start hurting him if he'd tried to hold him any closer. The sensation of being so intertwined with Kaoru was like none other, and if he had it his way without his damn decision for distance getting in the way, he'd find ways to be this close to him every day. All the time. The aura of the other was intoxicating.
Izzy felt a bit of wet on his neck, and the guilt started to clog up his mind from everything he'd put Kaoru through. He really wished he could just let him go. Things would be so much easier. Izzy lifted up his head, and placed one of his hands on Kaoru's cheek, attempting to guide his face up, feeling his tears in his hand. Looking him in the eyes once more, his own tears still not completely cleared up, he made a move that he knew he probably shouldn't have, but he was willing to do anything to comfort Kaoru. Izzy leaned forward, heart pounding once more and placed his lips against Kaoru's other cheek. He let them rest there for a moment before giving it a soft, small kiss. He was his biggest weakness, and his heart ached from seeing him cry, especially knowing he was the cause of it. Izzy felt a pain in his chest as he forced himself to retreat against the other's cheek and looked him in the eyes once more. He used his thumb to push some of his tears away, still catching barely any, and glad that the charcoal from his drawing before had probably rubbing off on his clothes instead of his skin somewhere during this whole encounter. "Don't cry, Kaoru." He smiled at him, a smile that was almost meek and foreign to his own face. "You're far too attractive for that." It wasn't like he looked any less handsome when he was crying, but it just felt right to say.
You're not..
Izzy just smirked at that, unsure how many times he could continue to tell him just how awful he really was. He was harassing him. He was getting his own sick and twisted pleasure over getting to be so close to him. He'd force him back against the shelf. He felt like a monster. If that wasn't harassment, he didn't know what was. Kaoru was just far too accepting.
Okay. I won't.
Good, Izzy thought to himself. Maybe Kaoru wouldn't ever be in an actual situation like this in the first place if he just remembered that. And if he was, maybe he'd now know how to stop it before anything happened if he listened to him.
Kaoru pulled away from the embrace without kicking him, and Izzy immediately felt the cold air take over where Kaoru's warm body used to be. He wanted to grab hold again, but he fought all of his urges and resisted him well. He couldn't do that. It was nuts. He replaced that want with more of an irritated expression by the fact that Kaoru hadn't actually kicked him.
No.
Izzy folded his arms across his chest. A grumpy expression took over his features, his tears finally drying up a bit though he did nothing to wipe them away. He was in a mood where he couldn't be bothered to care now. His kept his eyes locked on him, trying to figure out what he should say back to such a determined sounding no.
Kicking you would hurt both of us and I never want to see you in pain, knowing that I was the one behind it. So please, don't ask me to do that. Even if you, as you're saying, harassing me, I won't do it. So stop it, please? I'm just.. Really happy to see you and I want us to spend some time together and I'd rather that you spend it perfectly healthy and not suffering from a hit between the legs.
Izzy waited for him to finish all of his words and let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, fine." He sounded a bit crabby about it, though he was doing his best to lighten his tone. "I just wanted to make sure you had it in you. At least the strength." He'd never seen a violent side of Kaoru, so he wasn't even really sure how much he was capable of. In Izzy's eyes he was some kind of delicate flower, and he was worried he couldn't handle even a simple action such as a hard knee to the groin. He really wanted to protest the fact that he wanted to spend time together, but at this point he wasn't sure how to shake Kaoru without the cruelness of directly telling him to get lost. That was something he wasn't capable of saying the the other. Maybe he was just going to have to try and act so shitty to someone else in his presence that he'd just toss him out.
Hey, do you have something to do now? Maybe we can go back to my dorm and watch a movie? I think my roommate won't be there right now. If he is, then it would be a good chance to introduce you!
Izzy's smarter side was telling him that he needed to say no, and come up with an excuse. He was usually so good at being stubborn, but he knew that Kaoru had his own persistence about him and if it wasn't this, it'd be another thing. Izzy looked up at the clock, acting like he needed to know how late it was even though he didn't have anything else to do for the evening. He looked back at Kaoru, his mouth in a side slant before letting out a small sigh. "Let's go." He was still frowning about the entire thing, almost giving off the impression that it would be a bother even if in truth he was excited by the idea of watching a movie with Kaoru. Izzy walked back over to the table, picking up his charcoal pencils and shoving them into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. He then grabbed his sketchbook and tucked it under his arm before turning back to Kaoru to signal he was good to go.
He couldn't say he was very found of meeting Kaoru's roommate however. He hated the idea of anyone else sharing a living space with him. It was just another thing that pissed him off due to his jealously. "You'd better hope your roommate isn't around though. Chances are, we're not going to get along." He might have done his best to manipulate Kaoru into thinking he might actually be nice to whoever his stupid roommate was, but now he was trying to let him see the nastier side of him. How else was he going to get that torturing distance back between them? The one that he felt kept Kaoru's emotions safe? I would've thought you'd try harder to keep me away from people in your life after what happened with that filthy Akira.
[attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 11, 2016 13:03:41 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Only you can decide that. If you let me, you'll be alone forever. I mean, I did just tell you that I don't think anyone deserves you.
Izzy was quick to deny Kaoru's words about remaining unattached until the right person would present themselves to him. He blinked, twice, failing to argue with Izzy's point. It was his choice, after all. Still, he wanted Izzy to help him decide. Help him hand-pick who was good enough for him. He managed to only nod at that, driving into his own silence instead of speaking actual words. He felt that if he managed to say anything, it would only make the situation worse. He wanted to know why Izzy thought that no one deserved him. It was strange that his doubting mind didn't think immediately that something was wrong with him and that's what the other meant. He knew he meant something else. "I mean, you're my close friend, doesn't that mean that you.." What am I saying? He quickly shook his head and waved his hand back and forth, dismissively. "Nevermind, I, um.." He paused, knowing it was better for him to just keep quiet.
Just wait. You're going to open up those bright blues and figure it all out sooner or later.
His lips turned into a small 'o' of wonder, trying to figure out what the other meant by that. Releasing a small sigh, he still drove deeper into the depth of his silence, trying to figure his words correctly before spilling them. It could push Izzy away from him and he would never feel the same if his own words were the reason that Izzy went away. Maybe it was also his fault the fault time when he left. He just did his best to avert the other's gaze, rubbing small circles over his own wrist.
Don't cry, Kaoru. You're far too attractive for that.
He felt heat gather in cheeks, blinking a few times when Izzy moved his thumb to try and chase after the small tear. It was enough to make his heart leap out of his chest. His large blue eyes trembled with emotions at that before a little smile stretched over his lips. Kaoru let out a little awkward laugh at that, "I'm.. not.. crying." He managed to say between light hiccups, hearing his next words made his cheeks turn into an even darker color. "Idiot Izzy." He said lightly, not at all meaning it as an insult, but he wanted to say that in order to hide away that blush over his cheeks.
'You should've hit him! he pushed me on the floor and yet you've done nothing other than yell pathetically at him. I finally believe his words now,'
Akira said bitterly in one of her hissy fits, he was confused about what she meant. A small frown crossed over his features upon remembering that fight, one that Kaoru didn't play a part in as Akira continued to yell endlessly until her throat went sour and her voice started to sound scratchy, it pained him to hear her talk like that about Izzy, quickly forgiving her for the offending words she threw his way, but for some reason, he found himself becoming angry when she continued to cuss and say bitter words about his close friend. The day after, Kao was breaking it apart by saying 'I'm sorry', hearing her laugh bitterly at that and wave her hand off, dismissing the apology as if she no longer cared if they remained together or not.
He wasn't a stranger to acts of violence, he just didn't want to use them. Not only would it cause the other pain, but also his memories would haunt him. Kaoru wanted to tell Izzy about what Akira said, about why he truly broke up with her. Instead, he shifted his stance and allowed a small smile to settle on his lips like nothing bothered him at all. Like he didn't have any weight on his shoulders, always ready to take some from Izzy and drop it over his own.
I just wanted to make sure you had it in you. At least the strength.
"I guess I'd have to figure out by then." Kao shrugged his shoulders like getting harassed and defending himself would be such an easy task to do, almost like it would be another Tuesday for him. "Don't worry, I have it under control." He nodded with fake confidence, it almost made him sound ridiculous, but he wanted to try anything to make the other feel alright and trust that Kaoru had it in him to fight someone else.
Let's go.
Kaoru's lips stretched into a grin before he too went to gather his books, hugging them to his chest, nodding at Izzy's signal. "Okay." He held the books tightly, hoping that he wouldn't lose his momentum and drop them all to the ground. It certainly would make a fool out of him. Though he was used to it, he always dropped his books. Nothing new about that. Walking side by side with Izzy made him quickly forget about whatever trouble they faced before. It also helped him relax immensely.
You'd better hope your roommate isn't around though. Chances are, we're not going to get along.
He chuckled at that, "that's why you have me around!" He said with his usual over-confidence. Glancing around, he took a small glance at the area around him, deciding that coming back here would definitely be needed if he wanted to have more knowledge about animals. He was slowly, but surely, planning his own future ahead of him. Rolling his shoulders back, Kaoru's steps continued to click softly, looking over his shoulder to glance at Izzy with that usual smile of his gracing his lips. He started to walk the usual path to his dorm room. It wouldn't take long, but it would be a good journey if Izzy remained by his side. Most of the time, Kao would spend his time thinking about what he'd do with Izzy if he was there in that situation, it helped pass the time quicker.
"Hey, also, when we get there, I can't promise that I wouldn't try to persuade you into making me one of your delicious meals." He hummed thoughtfully, smiling at him innocently. "Oops, that was supposed to be my evil plan." Kao joked lightly, trying to put away some of that tension between them. He should really stop looking at Izzy, that he learned roughly when he collided with the door with his arms that held the books, thankfully, it pushed him back a few steps instead of roughly colliding with the door. He released an awkward cough at that, moving aside to walk by Izzy's side once more, paying more attention to his way this time around.
"So, tell me about you! Like, what are you doing now? What are you studying?"
- - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 11, 2016 22:14:22 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * I mean, you're my close friend, doesn't that mean that you.. Never mind, I, um..
Izzy raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity. "No, not never mind. You what?" He said it in a little bit more of a demanding tone then he'd intended to. He just really hated being left to wonder about things, and he was completely clueless for once as to what he was going to say. His eyes scanned over the features of his face as he'd tried to read him. His skin looked so soft, and he was longing to feel it on his finger tips. Izzy bit down on his bottom lip for a moment and then dropped it when he'd notice he was doing it in fear that Kaoru would notice. That might have been awkward. Then again, he doubted Kaoru would have even known why he was biting his lip in the first place. He didn't really seem to pick up on the meaning Izzy had behind a lot of his actions.
Idiot Izzy.
His little insult made Izzy just smirk. "Yeah, but you love me anyways, right?" It was moments like these that Izzy made comments like that just to avoid the urge to pour his heart out to ther other, telling him just what kind of love he wished Kaoru actually had for him. Thoughts of Kaoru often consumed him, and now he was wondering if that half angry and half numb feeling he'd been walking around with for so long were actually because of how much he'd been going through withdrawals from not being around him.
I guess I'd have to figure out by then. Don't worry, I have it under control.
Izzy practically scoffed at that. "Somehow I'm finding that hard to believe." It was a jerk comment, one that probably deserved some type of slap. He really hated when he let those types of comments slip out to Kaoru. He never wanted him to feel any sort of discomfort caused by himself, but Izzy figured that was sort of the new plan now. He'd just wanted that all to be directed more at other people. His pale blue eyes, almost grey dropped to the floor for a moment and away from Kaoru's face. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. That was rude."
Izzy enjoyed walking with Kaoru maybe a little too much, because he continued to wear a small smile on his face as he did. Before he'd pretty much walked around looking like the angriest person in the world unless he was around someone that he was trying to play for some reason or another. It seemed that the only time he ever actually smiled was when he was scheming, manipulating, and faking with other people. Or unless it was one of those scary smiles where he found himself pleased after messing with other people. When Kaoru was around, he actually had a smile that wasn't just one of satisfactory from something that could've probably been considered evil.
That's why you have me around!
The corner of Izzy's mouth began to twitch as he stared at Kaoru after he'd said that. He really doesn't get it, does he? He probably should not have been surprised by that. It didn't matter if they were fifteen or twenty-one, some things never really changed. Deep down, he was glad for that. Kaoru still felt like the brightest person in any room Izzy'd ever been in with him. Hell, being around him just made life brighter in general.
Hey, also, when we get there, I can't promise that I wouldn't try to persuade you into making me one of your delicious meals. Oops, that was supposed to be my evil plan.
Izzy smirked. Kaoru was just too damn cute. "I don't know if you're going to get that lucky." He chuckled. "I mean, I only good for people who are special to me," he said in a very sarcastic voice. That's when he realized that he was joking around with him which was exactly the type of thing he wasn't supposed to be doing. He was getting sucked right back into him, and Izzy let the smile drop from his face, forcing it off. What took over was more of an irritated expression, something that he wasn't actually attempting to do either. He just couldn't control his face. He must have looked crazy. "I just can't win," he grumbled in a very quiet tone to himself.
Izzy's eyes widened when Kaoru collided with the door and he reached out to help him only to stop short and shove his hands in his pocket. This was classic Kaoru, and he'd already helped himself before Izzy could even manage to touch him. When Kaoru was at his side again, Izzy let out a loud sigh. "You still can't remember to watch where you're going? You're impossible, Kaoru." He held out a hand to him. "Here, at least let me carrying your books. That way when you trip again they won't go flying into the back of someone's head." Honestly, to Izzy that sounded like a really funny thought, but really he just couldn't help himself from wanting to do something for Kaoru.
So, tell me about you! Like, what are you doing now? What are you studying?
Izzy shrugged, looking away from Kaoru once more at that question, a frown taking over his face. He didn't want to open up to Kaoru again about his life, but part of him was hoping that if he did, Kaoru would return the favor and Izzy'd be rewarded by learning about what he was up to. It was really strange that he'd been here in the first place, and he supposed this was the surprise he'd heard about on the phone from Mrs. Himura previously. "I'm studying graphic design." He shrugged. It probably sounded like such a silly career choice to someone like Kaoru. "For video games." He glanced over at him to try and figure out what he thought about that. Izzy's other choice would have been to go to culinary school, but he always got a little weird when it came to touching meat considering he didn't even eat the damn stuff. He wasn't sure how accepting they were of that, and he was sure if he did have to work with it often he'd probably look like a total pansy from being so awkward about it. He did have dreams of opening up his own restaurant one day, but of course his mind confirmed that as silly seeing as that same dream consisted of him waking up in the same bed as Kaoru every morning. "And I, uh, joined the art club here." He shrugged once more. "What about you? What are you studying? How are... things?"[attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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