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25 posts
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 12, 2016 12:03:24 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, No, not never mind. You what?
Knowing that the other wouldn't drop the subject until Kaoru spills what he meant by his previous words, he dropped his gaze to the ground, squeezing the concrete beneath his hills, taking out his little frustration on it. "Doesn't that mean that -- you, um, deserve me?" For some reason, it took a big amount of strength out of Kaoru to spill that out. He remained oblivious to the true meaning behind his words, giving his head a slight tilt, bright blue eyes eventually coming up to meet the unique color that is Izzy's eyes. Yeah, but you love me anyways, right?
Kaoru chuckled to himself, "yeah, I do." He replied with great ease like he was complimenting someone's outfit. It felt so easy and yet it was heavy on his heart, not the same weight Izzy carried, though. He was completely unaware of his feelings along with his own, it was just one tangled mess. If he'd learned more about what love, trying to figure the meaning of 'falling in love' outside of the novels he read or the poems he spent his nights enjoying as his eyes graced down the lines. Like any hopeless romantic man, Kao wanted to have a taste of what true love feels like, wanting to know if it was merely something the authors came up with to spread joy in the reader's heart or was it a true feeling they'd feel upon meeting the right person? Somehow I'm finding that hard to believe.
The edges of his lips rolled into a smile, though it was sad. "Yeah, me too." He chuckled after that, though it was humorless. He knew he'd never be able to hurt anyone or have a situation completely under control. He'd still do something stupid or to avoid hurting others, he'd be willing to hurt himself. He was good at avoiding gazes whenever he found it appropriate to do so. "But -- I'll be okay," he offered after bitter moments of silence. I'm sorry, Kaoru. That was rude.
His eyes widened and quickly shook his head. "No, no, that's okay! Really, I am happy to know that you care so much about my well-being, just as much as I do about yours." Kaoru wanted to take some blame off his shoulders, he wanted him to be happy for once and stop blaming everything on him, otherwise, that weight would crush him and Kao would be left with broken pieces and shattered memory of what he used to have. xx The walk there was delightful, he dared to think. It carried a strong sensation, a different aura from when Kao used to walk all by himself with his head dipped down like a wounded puppy. His lips, used to smiling almost fakely at other people, suddenly regained its strength like a blossoming flower in the beginning of Spring, full of life and just remarkably beautiful. His hands that shook regularly went back to its previous state and his chest stopped heaving like he ran for miles without stopping to take a deep breath. Everything was plain and meaningless without his best friend. He missed every little thing they used to do as kids. He kept the part to himself where he used to have endless nightmares at the beginning of college, though he overstepped it with some help. I don't know if you're going to get that lucky. For some reason
For some reason, Kao took that as a challenge and just laughed to himself. Then he went on to speak in a sarcastic tone, he felt his chest flutter upon realizing that Izzy was slowly stepping out of that dark bubble he had surrounded himself with. "I mean, I can always give you that puppy-eyed look," He shrugged his shoulders, borrowing fake confidence to speak with it, pretending to be someone who's very confident with his skills of persuading others, though he pretty much sucked at it, he was out of skill. He used to give his mother that look whenever she took something away from him and within a blink, he found that item between his hands and he'd overcome with joy. You still can't remember to watch where you're going? You're impossible, Kaoru. Here, at least let me carrying your books. That way when you trip again they won't go flying into the back of someone's head.
His cheeks flushed at that and he nudged the other with his elbow. "Oh stop it. I remember that very well! I was just.. Yeah, I still can't remember." He meekly admitted after trying to reason with Izzy, finding out that he was running out of words to say out loud. His eyes snapped wide when he saw him offering a hand. Chuckling to himself, he gave Izzy a small look, one that doubted his concern for the other person who'd get in the back of his head. "For some reason, I imagine you laughing instead of sympathizing with that person, but.." He separated his books from one another, carrying two while handing the other two to carry. "Since you offered oh so nicely, I can never say no to a face like that." Kaoru said sweetly, feeling his arms wrap easily around the two books. I'm studying graphic design. For video games.
Kao gasped at that, "that's nice." He faked a fake that was not excited before he broke into a laugh, "I'm kidding! That's really awesome. I know you'll do great, you have my support!" He gave Izzy another nudge, smiling widely at him. He was always ready to offer a hand to his friend or back him up on a decision or completely cheer for him like he'd won the noble prize. And I, uh, joined the art club here.
He remembered seeing Izzy's sketches quite a few times, remembering how he was completely in love with his drawing. "That's amazing, you're very good with Art," he nodded quite a few times to confirm his words, turning his head to look at the other, forgetting to look ahead of him again. 'Wo, wo, watch it,' a man said before they could collide with one another and Kaoru looked ahead of him and quickly dodged the man. "Sorry!" Kaoru said, rather sheepishly. Oh god, get yourself back together. He scolded himself. What about you? What are you studying? How are... things? "I'm studying to become a Veterinarian. A dream I always had as a kid," he said in a quiet tone, "and I'm not in a club since I don't have a hobby or anything." Kaoru said with great ease, taking out his key from his pocket, the keychain being a small bird, one that Akira gave to him on his Birthday. He probably should put that one away, but he always forgot. Unlocking the door, Kaoru gave the door a push with the side of his hips, entering the dorm. "Welcome to my.. What would they say again? Oh, oh yeah, humble dorm room," he said, remembering yet another line from one of the movies. "Mi casa es su casa. Yes, that's the one." My house is your house. That was quite true and it wasn't just softly spoken as an invitation, he meant it. Taking off his shoes by the door, Kaoru entered to go place the books on his desk, dropping his cross bag there as well. "Seems like my roommate isn't here. Too bad. But uh, please, be comfortable," he said, offering hospitality to the other before stripping out of jacket then following with his shirt, one that got stuck, controlled by the strand of hair that got tangled with a button. Releasing a small frustrated sound, he started to gently fix the problem before laying the shirt down on the bed, heading to his wardrobe to draw out a comfortable shirt to wear. He walked back to Izzy while putting it on, drawing his hair out of his shirt, "so, um, what movie should we watch? Or, are you hungry, thirsty, uh, tired?" - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 12, 2016 14:15:08 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Doesn't that mean that -- you, um, deserve me?
Izzy's face reflected the flustered feeling he had inside from his nerves threatening to suddenly consume him. When Kaoru's eyes met his, he immediately averted his eyes. His vision dropped the other's chest and his lips pressed into a line before he pulled himself together and looked back up in hopes of meeting his eyes once more. This time Izzy's stare was far more intense, almost as if he'd been pissed off by what Kaoru said. If he hadn't known any better, he'd probably think Kaoru had figured out he'd been in love with him and was just teasing him. However, he knew Kaoru wasn't like that. If he had found out, he'd probably just stop talking to him or something. "Don't be stupid, Kaoru. I'm the worst offender. I deserve you less than anyone out there." He smirked. It was true to a point, but at the same time Izzy did believe he was the only one fully capable of protected him. That he didn't doubt. The thing he doubted was his ability to make Kaoru happy. Even if he did have his way, which meant having Kaoru, he'd do something terrible sooner or later to make him upset. He'd never cheat or hurt him personally, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to hurt someone else which would make Kaoru unhappy just as well. He brushed off the thoughts realizing there was no point in even thinking about this.
No, no, that's okay! Really, I am happy to know that you care so much about my well-being, just as much as I do about yours.
Even though Kaoru had agreed with him, he still felt kind of bad about what he'd said. Nevertheless, he smirked. "Yeah, well, you don't ever have to worry about me. I can handle myself. And besides, I'll never have crazy stalkers threatening to bully me against book shelves like you," he teased in attempt to lighten the situation though he wasn't sure he was really kidding about it all.
I mean, I can always give you that puppy-eyed look.
Izzy closed his eyes for a moment with a smug look on his face before opening one and glancing over at Kaoru with it. "How can you be sure that's even going to work on me after all of this time?" Oh, it would work. He was sure of it, but Izzy just didn't want to take that blow to his ego by admitting that he was that easily convinced. At least by Kaoru. He switched both eyes back onto the path in front of them.
Izzy resisted the urge to break his serious look to chuckle when Kaoru hit him with his elbow. It was a lot harder then he'd imagined it'd be to keep from opening up and having fun with Kaoru again. He felt like in this bit of time all the distance he'd put between the two of them was being shot to hell. It pissed him off, and he really wished he could have better control of himself.
For some reason, I imagine you laughing instead of sympathizing with that person, but.. Since you offered oh so nicely, I can never say no to a face like that.
Izzy scoffed at that as he grabbed onto Kaoru's two books. He grabbed his sketchbook from under his arms and placed them on top before carrying them loosely against his chest. Kaoru was right though. That's exactly what he would have done. It was times like this when Izzy wondered if his attempts to hide over the year were pointless. He'd slipped up so many times anyways, that there was an eighty percent chance that Kaoru already knew exactly the type of person he was. It made him wonder if his trying now to show him that would be pointless. One thing baffled him though. If Kaoru already knew the type of person he really was... Why was he still around?
That's nice. I'm kidding! That's really awesome. I know you'll do great, you have my support!
Izzy let out a sigh at that, not looking the least bit amused this time as the other had nudged him. Part of him wanted to complain to Kaoru that it wasn't exactly what he really wanted to do with his life, but that would require opening up. Opening up was something he was doing his best to avoid regardless of the fact that he was sort of failing.
'Wo, wo, watch it,' another man spoke and Izzy's right eye twitched as Kaoru said he was sorry. "Don't apologize to him!" Izzy turned around as he was walking to see the guy continuing on. "Hey asshat!" Izzy called out in a grudging tone. "You can watch where you're walking to! It's not all on him, dumbass!" He turned back around, not even looking at Kaoru but at the path in front of him with more determination to get out of the hallway. He was pissed off, not appreciating the way the random had gone about telling him to be careful.
I'm studying to become a Veterinarian. A dream I always had as a kid, and I'm not in a club since I don't have a hobby or anything.
"Good." Izzy was happy to hear that Kaoru was following his dreams. He was amazing with animals, and he'd probably make the best damn veterinarian there was. "You're going to get to help a lot of animals one day." He wondered if Kaoru would be able to handle the hard stuff when it came to seeing the hurt and injured animals, knowing how soft his heart was for him, but he had enough faith in him to believe that he would just take that pain from it as motivation toward helping. Izzy had no doubts that he was going to be amazing at anything he did.
Izzy groaned at Kaoru's key chain, but didn't say anything even though he'd recognized it. If Kaoru liked it that much, there was no actual reason to get rid of it no matter where it came from. Still, his jealous side was trying to tell him that he kept it from some type of endless love he had for the woman. It was a thought that was making him sick.
Welcome to my.. What would they say again? Oh, oh yeah, humble dorm room. Mi casa es su casa. Yes, that's the one.
He smirked, taking a step inside and kicking his boots off rather harshly by the door before his eyes took in the room. This is where you're living now? There wasn't really anything wrong with it, but it really did irk him that some random guy was getting to live with Kaoru especially because he didn't know anything about him. Izzy was probably going to be creepy enough to do some type of background check on him when he got back to his own room.
Seems like my roommate isn't here. Too bad. But uh, please, be comfortable.
"Yeah, too bad." Izzy smirked as he said those words sarcastically. He then also walked over to Kaoru's desk to place the two books on top of the ones he's just sad down and his sketchbook so he wouldn't have to hold it. Digging into the pocket of his hoodie, he pulled out several charcoal pencils and dropped them onto the desk as well so they wouldn't fall out or something and make black smudges everywhere. In his own dorm room that seemed to happen a lot. There were black lines and smudges all over his blanket which he still needed to wash. Izzy wasn't exactly the most cleanly of people. His dorm honestly looked kind of trashed, and he could only imagine what the Himura's would say if they saw it.
Izzy basically perked up as he watched Kaoru strip from his shirt, unable to take his eyes off of him even as he'd previously struggled with the button. He swallowed hard, taking in the view of his body. His skin looked even softer, and the urge to touch it was consuming him as his eyes dragged across his chest and his stomach. His body was pure temptation and Izzy had to force himself to shut his own mouth that had decided to open during his staring. He would never get used to this, because he was never going to be able to control his want for him. It didn't help that it'd been so long since he'd seen any parts of his body. It made everything far more intensified then before. Now his thoughts were roaming, thinking about exactly what he would do if he were allowed to just take his best friend now. He bit his bottom lip in vexation.
When Kaoru turned to walk back over, Izzy swallowed hard, snapping out of it. He had failed to realize his pants were becoming just a little bit tighter, and he dodged around Kaoru to go around Kaoru and sit on the edge of a bed he hoped was his, grabbing one of the pillows and putting it over his lap, leaning forward a bit to make it appear like he'd done it to be comfortable. The awkward feeling from letting it get that bad for him made it hard to concentrate of the question he'd ask and he searched his mind to remember it.
So, um, what movie should we watch? Or, are you hungry, thirsty, uh, tired?
Oh yeah, that's what he'd ask. Izzy swallowed hard once more and then forced a smirk onto his heated face. "We could watch a horror movie," he said to tease him, knowing just easily Kaoru could be scared. "And uhhh, some water would be cool if you don't mind." He shrugged his shoulders. Yep. I'm totally one of the freaks I keep warning him about. He admitted to himself once again, eyebrow twitching as his eyes darted to the floor.[attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 12, 2016 22:06:52 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Don't be stupid, Kaoru. I'm the worst offender. I deserve you less than anyone out there.
Kaoru's face shifted into one of doubt. Quick to point out the flaws of Izzy's words, but he knew he'd be cut short if he spoke his own opinion in that matter, he was short-spoken and a little awkward when it came to speaking about how he felt. Though what he felt was a mess of its own. His feelings had been a mess from the start, he just kept that part to himself. One that keeps on sinking endlessly into that mess alone. Afraid of dragging anyone into that mess like he'd done with Akira, he kept it to himself, for the most part, knowing that sooner or later, it'd come out into the open. It always does. Just like in the books when the main character hides his secrets and the one doomed to fall for the character's charm knows the hidden secrets.
Yeah, well, you don't ever have to worry about me. I can handle myself. And besides, I'll never have crazy stalkers threatening to bully me against book shelves like you,
Kaoru chuckled at that, finding himself rather speechless around that point. He knew very well that Izzy was capable of protecting himself and also others. For some strange reason, he couldn't imagine Izzy protecting someone else other than him. That made him feel a little weird, imagining odd things like that would haunt his mind late in the middle of the night as he keeps on scolding himself for ever thinking about such a stupid thing. Of course Izzy would protect anyone in need of his protection, he was nice and caring, not to mention his protectiveness made him stand out perfectly in Kao's eyes. He enjoyed his company more than anything.
xx
How can you be sure that's even going to work on me after all of this time?
Humming thoughtfully at that, he scratched the side of his neck, releasing a nervous chuckle. "Good point. At some point, it stopped working on my mom, too. But you wouldn't know unless you try, right?" Kao said in a matter-of-fact tone, giving a light shrug of his shoulders. Sometimes, he sounded like a therapist giving treatment to a patient through dull words and fake promises of a happy ever after upon finishing their treatments.
Don't apologize to him! Hey asshat! You can watch where you're walking to! It's not all on him, dumbass.
Oh no. Kao thought to himself, watching the situation escalate quickly between him and the other student who told him to watch his path. "Izzy!" he whined, dropping his head to look at the ground before continuing to follow after him. "Please don't get angry," he pleaded, trying to keep on track with Izzy who barely looked at him. He'd done it again. Good job, Kao. He scolded himself, pressing his lips into a thin line, following after him.
Good. You're going to get to help a lot of animals one day.
He released a happy sigh at that, hoping that Izzy's words would come true. He saw a lot of animal abuse in his early days and injured animals dying from lack of care or bad treatment at the hospital. He wanted nothing more but to stop that suffering for both the owners of the pet and the injured animal. Let it be a cat, dog, bird, or any other animal for that matter. It surely would take him a lot of time to memorize everything, it was a long path ahead of him. He knew that for sure, now. "I hope so." He said, happily.
The warmth of his room swallowed him whole, making him settle in with a new feeling. It wasn't home, not really. Not without Izzy and his parents sharing the same space as him. He missed the smell of his mother's pancakes around every Friday, something she'd treat them with after hard work with their studies. She'd watch every step they take and with his father working hard to provide them with enough money to keep their heads above the water, Kao was graced with a good family supporting him. He made sure to support Izzy, as well. They were family, the anchor that held them to the ground.
Yeah, too bad.
Looking at Izzy, he smiled at that and went back to his original spot, his eyes still lingering on Izzy to see what he was doing for a moment or two, fully coming to a stop so he wouldn't bump into anything and make a fool of himself for the third time today. Whenever Izzy was around, he'd really keep doing that. He really was a fool, huh?
He gave his head a slight tilt in confusion when Izzy dodged around him and went to sit on the edge of his bed, it would have been funny to see the other's reaction if he sat on his roommate's bed. He was keeping a pillow on his lap, getting into a comfortable position. It helped Kao relax, knowing that his friend was making himself at home sooner than expected.
We could watch a horror movie,
His eyes widened at that, lips parting slightly before he slumped down his shoulders in defeat. "Then you're sitting next to me," he mumbled, knowing that sooner or later, he'd hug into Izzy and hide his face. He was never used to horror movies, no matter how many times he'd watched them with Izzy. He hoped that the many attempts of swallowing past a horror movie would make him grow accustomed to the scenery, but it definitely wasn't helping. It always made him cry whenever the bad person would kill an animal. He really wasn't cut out for that.
And uhhh, some water would be cool if you don't mind.
Kaoru rubbed the front of his neck, feeling more strangled with the shirt than usual, nodding at Izzy's soft request, turning to head for the kitchen. There was something rubbing constantly against his skin, one that he'd never felt before, it usually came around the back of his neck. Casting a look to the front of his shirt, Kao released a groan, noticing that he wore the shirt in the wrong way around. Pouring cold water into the glass, he took it and moved to sit by Izzy upon stepping out of the kitchen and approaching him in light steps. Offering the glass gently, he stood in front of him for a moment before going to grab the remote, searching for the horror movies collection. Picking 'Evil Dead', a choice he'd regret as soon as the movie starts.
On the way, he stripped out of his shirt again, though he didn't take it off fully and went to sit by Izzy, turning the shirt around, wearing it correctly this time. He could finally breathe soon after, looking over to Izzy before leaning over him to turn off the switch, which was not too far from his side, encouraging Kao to shuffle closer to him, his front body leaning into his thighs, supported by the pillow, he finally reached over after some struggle, the lights came off and Kaoru soon went back to his original spot, hugging his knees closer to his chest after bringing them up. With a deep breath, he finally found his courage, turning on the movie, resting the remote by his side. "Oh, I hate this already.." He whined, chewing on the flesh of his bottom lip, moving closer to lean his shoulder against Izzy's shoulder, a permanent reminder that he was not here alone. "Movies can't hurt you.." He muttered breathlessly to himself, fixating his gaze on the screen as the movie slowly started.
- - i think i love you better now
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Application
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 13, 2016 0:41:39 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Good point. At some point, it stopped working on my mom, too. But you wouldn't know unless you try, right?
Izzy rolled his eyes, though he was right. And if he tried it, it would definitely work. There was no doubt about that. Regardless, he wasn't going to bother saying anything about it. There really wasn't any point, because he wasn't going to admit it to him and give him the upper hand. If he did, there would be no way of putting the distance back, because Kaoru would probably puppy dog eyes his way into making sure that didn't happen.
Izzy! Please don't get angry.
It was too late for that, but he tried to take in a few deep breaths to fill his request. It was so much harder to handle upsetting Kaoru then he'd anticipated. He should have known from past experience. "Whatever, he deserved it," he grumbled, slowing down for Kaoru, not regretting the names he'd called the other man. No one spoke that way to Kaoru while he was around. He wouldn't have it.
Then you're sitting next to me.
Izzy swallowed hard again, unsure if that was really such a good idea right now. He was already having trouble keeping himself calm, and since he was already quite in the mood, it would be nearly impossible to get out of it if Kaoru had been sitting right next to him. He wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do, feeling like he'd just been pushed down the rabbit hole. He shifted slightly where he was sitting, not really a noticeable movement, but now he was having trouble sitting still the deeper his thoughts seemed to slip. Things probably wouldn't have been this difficult had he not stayed away so long.
Though he tried to keep his vision away, Izzy couldn't help but watch Kaoru as he'd walked into the kitchen. When he came back, Izzy took the glass from him. "Thanks." He took a drink as he wondered what movie Kaoru was going to pick out. Is he really going to sit through another horror movie? Izzy felt a little bit bad, but it wasn't like the movies he liked would actually hurt Kaoru or something like that. Besides, the idea of Kaoru clinging onto him was always so tempting. He quickly started drinking more of the water when he realized just how excited he was currently at the idea of Kaoru touching him for any reason.
Just with that thought, Kaoru was half taking off his shirt again and Izzy's eyes widened as they immediately darted down to his lower stomach. Now he was wishing he'd just take it all off and that he'd been walking back toward him for an entirely different reason. He was sad to see the skin disappear behind the now fixed shirt, and wanted to make a comment about how silly he was for messing something so simple up in the first place, but his throat just felt too damn dry despite all of the water. Before he knew it, the water was gone and he twitched, leaning down and setting the glass on the floor in front of the bed for now before sitting back up and making sure the pillow was still on top of his now even tighter pants.
He glanced over at Kaoru sitting next to him, tracing the features of his face with his eyes, cursing himself as he wished he could trace them with his tongue. He bit his bottom lip again, scolding his thoughts. He almost wanted to cry for getting himself so stupidly worked up so easily. He felt like an idiot. A freak. Or just a plain jackass.
Izzy's eyes widened as Kaoru leaned over him, struggling to reach for the switch. His chest was so close to his thighs, only separated by the pillow, and he was really praying he couldn't feel what was going on with his body underneath the pillow. His eyes squeezed shut as he felt the pressure of his weight on him. "K-Kao, I can get t-" His voice had never sounded so awkward, so nervous. He couldn't even finish his sentence before it was too late. The room went dark. Kaoru went back to his own spot and Izzy let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. That whole situation just felt like torture and he was sure Kaoru was just as clueless about it as ever.
Oh, I hate this already.
Kaoru turned on the moving, and Izzy looked over at him with an awkward smile. "It's gunna' be okay, don't worry so much." He cleared his throat. "It's just a movie." He reassured him though it sounded more like he was annoyed or something by Kaoru's fear. It wasn't ture, but he was having trouble keeping hold of himself.
The movie was going and Kaoru was leaning on his shoulder. Unfortunately for him, he was having far too much trouble actually watching the movie. He was too fixated on Kaoru out of the corner of his eye. Izzy moved his hand behind Kaoru's back, hesitating slightly before moving it through his hair and ruffling it on the back of his head. It was a little harder to do with how long Kaoru's hair was, so it kind of just felt like he was tangling his fingers in his hair. His brain was drowning out the sound of the movie, focusing in on the sound of Kaoru's breathing, making his own breathing a little heavier though he kept it quiet. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked back at the screen. He really liked this movie, and he was sure Kaoru had probably already known that. "Just wait 'til the part when we get to the knife and the tongue thing." He smirked, forcing himself to comment on the movie.[attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 13, 2016 21:39:08 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Thanks.
Kaoru nodded at that, accepting the gratitude with a wide smile stretching his lips. He really couldn't stop smiling, it felt good and a bit tiring because his smiles finally held a meaning behind them. Clicking his teeth together, he sat still, feeling light shifting by his side which prompted Kao to raise an eyebrow questionably, looking over his shoulder to allow his bright eyes to find the form of his best friend who looked a bit uncomfortable. He shifted on his own bed, trying to find the uncomfortable spot or mainly any reason for such a frown to be drawn over his friend's charming features. Honestly, it was sad to see Izzy not using his looks to draw some people in. He was pretty sure if Izzy was open to it, he would have had a girlfriend. What if he's interested in men, Kaoru? He made room for that possibility and wasn't at all bothered by the thought. He'd still support him, to hell and back.
It's gunna' be okay, don't worry so much.
Right. Of course. It was just a movie, right? Movies can't hurt anyone. No one died because they merely saw a horror movie unless they were twisted enough to be dragged by the actions of the movie. Thankfully, Kao wasn't anything like that. Though he'd get endless nightmares until he'd be able to forget the scenes or they'd be replaced with someone that would eat away his thoughts. Rubbing the spot over the nape of his neck, hand hidden by the long strands.
It's just a movie.
For some reason, Izzy sounded annoyed. Kao's eyes widened and he swallowed past that thick cotton ball in his throat, forcing himself to calm down. He must've made the other upset by his constant shifting and bragging about the horror movie. He shouldn't have said anything and just accepted the movie without complaining so much. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he allowed the silence to swallow him whole.
The movie was more violent than he'd anticipated. Wanting nothing more but to grasp the material of his blanket and drop it over himself. He just didn't have the heart to take a lot of gore scenes without flinching or scrunching his face in disgust. If he wasn't hugging his legs close to his chest, he would be bouncing his knee up and down, clearly giving away his distraught with the movie. A few scenes turned dark for Kaoru when he placed his hand over his eyes and released a small sound of protest at the countless horror scenes.
As the scenes rolled by, Kao wrapped his arms around Izzy's arm, clinging to it. Letting it be some anchor that could pull him back to reality. He had to convince himself countless times that he wasn't in the movie. Breathe, Kao. He instructed, clinging tighter to the other, releasing his arm a few moments later upon gaining that assurance. He went back to lean on Izzy's shoulder, looking at the screen rather hesitantly.
More movements on the bed alerted Kao which helped him not jump out of his skin upon feeling a hand tangle itself within his long strands. A small smile appeared on his lips, enjoying the other's touch. It was more than enough to make him feel better. The loud beating of his heart and his sweaty palms gave away how weak he was when it came to horror movies, let that be mixed with Izzy's touches, he'd grow instantly weakened by all of it.
Just wait 'til the part when we get to the knife and the tongue thing.
"Why am I not stoked to see that part?" Kaoru mumbled, reluctantly. His fingers pulled and tugged on the end of his shirt, keeping his hands busy with anything. His legs growing numb from the position, he shifted a little, dropping his legs over the edge of his bed. "My god," he whispered, dipping his head down, looking down at the floor, picking the mini details of it, passing time so the scene would end. "I just don't get how you can like this movie.. It's awful," he complained breathlessly, raising his gaze again to look at the screen.
His time with Izzy was always pleasant, even if they were watching a horrible movie full of horror scenes. Kaoru in the end, hid his face in Izzy's neck, clinging to his arm. Turning his head, he rested it on Izzy's shoulder, going back to staring at the screen.
- - i think i love you better now
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Application
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25 posts
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 13, 2016 22:38:12 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * As Izzy continued to shift around a little, trying to basically find a position to basically save him from the torture, he noticed Kaoru seemed to be moving around slightly too. He looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing?" He couldn't help but laugh as he tried to keep in a chuckle. His copy-cat motions were kind of funny despite how uncomfortable Izzy was feeling in the moment.
Kaoru seemed to be taking this horror movie like he was taking all the rest, making Izzy feel bad even though he was being incredibly adorable about it. He really didn't need to see adorable Kaoru right now. Even adorable Kaoru did it for him when he was already feeling the way he was. Any Kaoru was capable of it, and he could only imagine how he'd actually feel if he'd managed to see Kaoru when he was actually in the mood. Had Kaoru ever been in the mood? Izzy kind of just assumed he'd done it with Akira at least once, a thought that made him want to groan in annoyance. He was really too good for her. She looked like an ugly mole rat next to Kaoru, though to Izzy pretty much anyone did.
When Kaoru wrapped his arm around him, Izzy was breathing a little bit harder. He loved the way he felt leaning against him, and if he had it his way, this would be an all the time every day thing. Having Kaoru so close just felt right, and it pained him to think about the other people he might have been this close too. He continued to watch his features out of the corner of his eyes. God, I wish I could just push h- He mentally slapped himself before he could even manage to finish a thought like that.
Izzy had never had a girlfriend. He'd never wanted one. He'd never even had a boyfriend. The only person he's ever desired to be with was Kaoru, and everyone else was just sort of meh in comparison. He just hated how one-sided everything was. If he could have it his way, Kaoru would have never been interested in another single person. Then again, Izzy still didn't believe he was a good fit for his best friend either. Just by being around him sometimes, he felt like he was corrupting his innocence. That was especially true when all of his thoughts weren't exactly innocent ones. The tighter Kaoru clung to his arm, the guiltier Izzy began to feel. Even when he loosened his grip, the guilt didn't vanish.
Why am I not stoked to see that part?
Izzy chuckled, continuing to play with the other's long hair in his fingers. "Because you're a big baby," he teased, trying to act as normal as he could manage about everything as Kaoru tugged slightly on his shirt. That really wasn't helping matters at all, and he had to hold his breath for a moment to keep himself from tugging up on Kaoru's. His body growing more tense, he dropped his hand from Kaoru's hair, too afraid to accidentally pull on it or something else ridiculous.
I just don't get how you can like this movie.. It's awful.
He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad." It was pretty bad, but stuff like this never phased Izzy. "I don't get how you don't like it. I mean, the details are just amazing especially for the time this movie was released. It's incredible." He smirked. "Just keep watching, maybe it'll grow on you. Then we can watch the second one next time." It took a lot of effort just to get all of those words out that he hadn't even noticed he'd already said next time even though he was supposed to at least try to avoid him again after this.
When he felt Kaoru's face in his neck, Izzy had to hold his own breath. Even if he wasn't taking a visit to his neck for reasons Izzy would have wanted, he could still feel his face against it, and it was still a little much. When Kaoru looked back at the screen, Izzy could feel his heart start beating rather rapidly. He was too close. I can't do this. With that thought, Izzy immediately wiggled his arm away from Kaoru and then got up to quickly move away from him and stand against one of his walls, still holding the pillow awkwardly against himself. "You know what? You're clearly not enjoying this movie. Let's just stop?" He spat the words out like they were lava on his tongue. Smooth one, idiot. He just needed more water or anything else really to calm himself down. As soon as he could snap out of it, he'd be good and everything would be normal and not creepy and weird at all. Think Izzy... [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 14, 2016 14:35:38 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, What are you doing?
Kaoru's movements stilled completely, his eyes widened. A little blush crept to the soft flesh of his cheeks as he sheepishly chuckled. "Nothing, uh," he almost wanted to wince at how his voice sounded like a dying animal. "I'm just, sitting," Kaoru stated the obvious, letting out an awkward laugh. In reality, he wanted to find out the reason behind Izzy's discomfort. He had to still himself to avoid making an idiot of himself. Even more than before.
Because you're a big baby,
Kaoru released a gasp at that, faking an offended face. "I am not!" He argued softly, his lips turning into a light grin before he simply allowed the movie to swallow his attention back again. He missed the humorous air between them and how it carried around without any pregnant pause. It brought back a lot of pleasant memories for him. It just felt like old times and he never wanted it to end. He fiddled with his thumbs rather awkwardly, uncertain what to say next.
It's not that bad. I don't get how you don't like it. I mean, the details are just amazing especially for the time this movie was released. It's incredible.
Kaoru rose his eyebrows, surprised that Izzy was fully commenting on the movie. Ever since it started, he was uncharacteristically quiet it was beginning to worry Kao. But then again, Kao gets worked up on a lot of things without any rational thought about it beforehand. "Really now? That's great. I mean the actors are doing a great job so far. Maybe I'll fully appreciate it when I grow accustomed to the jump scares." He commented, followed by a little chuckle to lighten the mood between them. He just hoped that the horror movie wouldn't dull out everything between them.
Just keep watching, maybe it'll grow on you. Then we can watch the second one next time.
Next time. His heart started beating quickly at that promise hanging in the air. "I sure hope so." It would be enough of a reason to drag him there, too. Kaoru hummed, quite pleased with the other's words, though it wasn't the first time since they'd met. He was always appreciating the other's words and the fact that they were even building a stable conversation between them. He hoped that he wasn't searching for happiness in misery. Hopefully, it wouldn't backfire on him.
You know what? You're clearly not enjoying this movie. Let's just stop?
Kaoru almost fell on his side when Izzy suddenly shot up from the bed. His hand supported his weight, stopping him from falling down from the sudden shift. He quirked an eyebrow at the other's words, searching for the remote to pause the movie, reaching for the light switch to see Izzy clearly who stuffed himself in the corner, his back meeting the wall, still possessively holding his pillow down to his lower part. He just thought he was comfortable with it like that, he never would've guessed that he was doing it for a whole different reason.
Kaoru pushed up from his bed, "Izzy, are you okay?" He questioned, worried about him. He started to approach him, standing right in front of him. He rested a hand on his own hip, raising his shirt a little in progress. "You don't look alright, you're all red. Are you sick or something?" He moved his head closer to his, eyes giving away his concern. "I was enjoying the movie, but you're clearly not," Kao commented, pressing his lips into a thin line. His blue eyes dropped to Izzy's lips for a moment, realizing how close they were, he could feel Izzy's breath hit his face making him blink a few times. His tongue came out unconsciously to run over the flesh of his bottom lip before moving his eyes to meet Izzy's.
"Did I do anything wrong? I-- I'm sorry if I did?" Kaoru should probably stop apologizing, but he just wanted to learn the reason behind Izzy's discomfort. Could it be the movie? Or how Kao clung to him like a lost child afraid of the dark? or because of the darkness of his own room? Just what could possibly make him feel like this? Not to mention he looked a bit flushed, resembling that faint blush of a sick person. "Tell me, I'll do anything to help you.."
- - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 14, 2016 21:12:01 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Nothing, uh, I'm just, sitting.
Izzy let out a smirk at that. His movements were just as awkward as his own, but he was sure it was for completely different reasons. "If you say so," he muttered in response, just letting it go. Even though some of the things Kaoru did cause Izzy to raise an eyebrow, he still couldn't help but find them kind of adorable. He wondered if Kaoru would find that offensive, wanting to be taken more manly or something, but brushed away the thought. What Izzy thought, Kaoru didn't know. And what he didn't know wouldn't kill him.
Really now? That's great. I mean the actors are doing a great job so far. Maybe I'll fully appreciate it when I grow accustomed to the jump scares.
Izzy rolled his eyes again, something that Kaoru seemed to be making him do often. "Yeah. Maybe." He didn't even have it in him right now to give him some sarcastic and playful response. Just taking a minute to actually think about the movie had been hard enough for him. He wondered if Kaoru's sentence was supposed to be sarcastic, unable to really pick out the difference in the moment.
Kaoru paused the movie, reaching for the lights and Izzy's eyes just watched him as he tried to calm himself down, failing hopelessly at it. He was glad he didn't knock him over by moving so suddenly. He hadn't really taken that into consideration when he'd made his escape in the first place.
Izzy, are you okay?
As Kaoru began to approach him, Izzy swallowed hard. The hand on his hip was enough to lift up his shirt a bit, a small movement that Izzy didn't miss in his current situation. He could see just a small smidge of his skin there, and it felt like it was going to be enough to kill him.
You don't look alright, you're all red. Are you sick or something?
He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling Kaoru moving his head closer to his own. "Yeah. Fine." He spoke simple words quickly, not even capable of thinking of an excuse. Get control of yourself. Clearly the distance from Kaoru had intensified his wants way too much. He no longer had a tolerance to any of the little things that seemed to happen. He felt so weak and his eyes wanted to find the exit, but as soon as he opened them, all he saw were Kaoru's blue eyes.
I was enjoying the movie, but you're clearly not.
Izzy hadn't even heard those words. He could feel Kaoru's breath against his lips, and it was completely intoxicating. He looked down, watching Kaoru's tongue mindlessly go over his bottom lip. Izzy pressed his own lips tighter together, staring at them. His heart was beating rapidly, and he felt almost as if he was drunk as he stared at the other's light pink lips. So tempting. So soft looking. So perfect. He looked back up just in time to see Kaoru's eyes, though he was feeling himself slipping out of control. All he could think about where those lips so close to his. Every breath Kaoru took that Izzy could feel was a reminded of that.
Did I do anything wrong? I-- I'm sorry if I did?
A small shake of the head was all Izzy could manage. He hadn't done a damn thing wrong. Izzy was the one doing everything wrong, and now he was just making Kaoru feel bad for it. His eyes dropped back down to the other's lips and a small whimper-like sound escaped from him. It was quiet, but his entire body tensed further then before.
Tell me, I'll do anything to help you..
Those words sounded so inviting, even though Izzy knew they didn't mean what his mind was twisting them to mean. Poor, innocent Kaoru had no idea what was going on in his head. "Anything?" The word came out of his mouth as a whisper, and Izzy's hand went to reach from Kaoru's side where his shirt had moved up ever so slightly before. Izzy's fingers found the bottom of Kaoru's shirt and slowly moved it up so he could slide his hand around his skin above where Kaoru's hand was resting on his hip.
Izzy's breathing got heavier, and then lighter as he stood there, feelings now intensified by the feel of Kaoru's soft skin on his hand as he stared down at his lips. His face inched closer. Without even realizing it, his own lips were brushing against Kaoru's. He was loosing himself in Kaoru, something he'd been working so hard to avoid. Just one..... little... He slide his bottom lip in between Kaoru's lips. Taste... Then he'd lost himself, the feel of their lips together making him loose all self control, dropping the pillow he'd been holding against the front of him. He pushed his whole body into Kaoru's, leaving no space between the two of them, not even thinking about the fact that Kaoru would probably feel the little problem he had going on. He didn't even care anymore. Completely rid of all rationality, Izzy backed his lips away only to practically slam them into Kaoru's a second later, kissing him without putting any logical thought into his actions. His want had consumed him. As he moved his lips around Kaoru's, he felt like he was being pulled in. He was drowning, and he didn't want to be saved. His other arm attempted to slide around Kaoru's neck underneath his long blond hair.
Only a few seconds, if even that, had passed before something smashed into Izzy's brain, finally waving around a red flag to try and tell him he'd lost control. His eyes shot open wide, and he yanked himself backward, letting go of Kaoru and slamming the back of his own head into the wall. He winced slightly at the pain, but was far too focused on the situation to even give that a second thought. His breathing was tense as he staring at him wide eyed, trembling with the fear of what he had done. He took a full moment of silence, just standing there staring at him before he finally found it in himself to speak again. "K-Kaoru..." His voice was shaking. "We can't be friends anymore...." Saying those words crushed him, and he felt like he was about to fall apart into a million pieces. "Because I..."
Izzy took a deep breath, straitening himself up, hands pressed against the wall behind him as though he was trying to grab onto it for support, an impossible task. He just needed to keep his hands as far away from Kaoru as they could get. He was trying to ground himself. "I..." There. His tone was getting more serious, more believable for what he was about to say. "Because I hate you." He continued to stare at him, feeling as though he'd gotten shot in the heart for what he'd just said out loud. He narrowed his eyes in attempt to fake the meaning. He wore the most heartless expression he could summon. Even with that, he couldn't keep his lip from quivering. It was a lie, obviously. No part of Izzy hated him or ever could hate him. It also went against the huge mistake he had just made, sure to conflict the other, but he had to end this. If he'd already allowed himself to screw up so badly after hanging out with Kaoru this one time, there was no way he could keep on like this. He'd just ruined it all by practically attacking Kaoru's mouth, something he'd never thought he'd actually do in a million years. He was definitely not winning an award for world's greatest friend any time soon. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 14, 2016 22:19:05 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Kaoru's thoughts always had more control than anything else. It was his sanity, after all. Knowing Izzy, he knew he should be the one to hold him to his ground and stop him from making any irrational mistake he'd blame himself for, only seconds later after doing it. Kaoru wanted to be that little anchor tied to his ankle, one that would stop him from going under the water. His friend gave off the impression of not wanting to be saved by anyone, of being emotionally closed off. Perhaps anyone else would feel suffocated because of it, or maybe a little threatened, afraid of getting hurt or their heart being broken by the roughness of rejection. Kaoru felt the same when it was any other person, but to him, Izzy would never reject him. Not in the sense that would tear his heart down and allow someone to stomp on it on their way home. Kaoru just hoped that it wouldn't happen like that.
Izzy looked far worse from up close. His eyes sometimes squeezed shut, like he was mentally battling his own demons for control or keeping them open and they were hopelessly wandering around until the magnet of their strong graze pulled him under, and soon enough, he wasn't able to drag his eyes away from him. Kaoru wanted to reach forward and rest the back of his hand against his forehead, check if he had a terrible fever in all of a sudden. Surely that would explain the flush, but it couldn't explain the lost eyes and how he looked at Kaoru as if he was the water and he was someone who came back from a long walk in the desert with no drop of water in his possession. Like he was some kind of key to his sanity, to his happiness. Kaoru just wanted to know what was bothering him so much.
Electricity shot for the first time through his body when his hand met his skin, his own hand dropped from his hip, allowing the other to claim the full area without interruption of his hand. Every alarm went off in his head upon feeling that touch, but for some reason, he couldn't pull away. He didn't have that much strength to break away the touch. The pain of their distance made Kaoru accept almost anything coming from him. He swallowed thickly, past the cotton ball in his throat, giving a small glance to Izzy's hand before looking back up, confusion written all over his face. He wasn't brave enough to break away from the touch, not when he had missed Izzy so much that it felt like he was suffocating.
His body shivered violently against his will, hand unconsciously coming to Izzy's chest, clenching the fabric tightly in his hand. He was frozen in time and spot, his head unable to pull away when Izzy's head moved closer to his own. Each breath taken by his best friend hit his face and each one he took surely did the same to the other. His hands started to shake with anticipation, eyes still opened and lips slightly falling apart to allow the other free passage of fully kissing him. For the first moment, Kaoru's eyes were wide, shocked by Izzy's actions. His best friend was .. kissing him. Every rational thought kicked violently out of his mind and for the first few moments, Kaoru wasn't responding back to the kisses. It was like kissing a stone or a dead body, just boring and unmoving. His breath hitched in his throat when the pillow dropped with a muted thud and their bodies crashed with one another, he could finally realize what Izzy was uncomfortable about.
He started to act like a person he barely knew. His lips started to move, fully accepting the kiss shared between the two of them. Lips against lips, arms wrapping around one another for a sane hold. Both of them got lost fairly quickly in the kiss and how it was intensified because of the distance Izzy placed between them. He knew he'd yell at him later on, get angry for not breaking away, or maybe for not fully responding back like he was seeing the water for the first time. Kaoru managed to take only one breath when Izzy pulled away before he slammed his mouth back into Kao's.
It was intense while it lasted. Kaoru's lips were definitely red from the kiss and his mind hazed like an addicted person getting a taste of their drug. Kaoru opened his eyes, he barely remembered closing them. His breaths coming shallow and hands shaking against his lips. He could still feel traces of Izzy's taste on his lips. His heart beating quickly in his chest, almost breaking free out of his ribcage like a rebel. His lips parted to say anything, but Izzy was already parting his to let something out, maybe violent words because it just sounded so like him.
K-Kaoru...We can't be friends anymore.... Because I... I... Because I hate you.
We can't be friends anymore. Nothing could ever brace Kao for something like that. He thought he'd get something like a teasing comment or maybe a violent reaction where Izzy runs away and slams the door shut behind him. But that? Kaoru almost wanted to cry, but he knew better than crying right now, not when he felt like a small fight was about to bubble between them. Suddenly, Izzy explained why they can't be friends anymore. If he thought that Izzy's first words were painful, they were no match for those. "Wh-what?" He whispered, eyes snapping wide open. "Y-you hate me?" Kaoru repeated like a parrot, though his voice broke midway.
His face was something of a shock before it dropped completely to something unrecognizable, something else washing over him. He felt like if he allowed Izzy to walk out, he'd never be able to have him around again. "You don't." He replied, forgetting about his stuttering earlier. "You never will hate me, Izzy." Even though his expression was slightly stoic, it still carried a soft tone to it. "You wouldn't have kissed me, you wouldn't have done a lot of things." He stepped closer again, putting his hand on the wall next to his head. "Stop pushing me away. It's unfair! Why are you the only one who gets to decide for both of us? You can't just put distance between us whenever anything happens between us. Please, don't say you hate me, I can't take hearing you say that to my face." Slowly, the expression of his was melting away to turn into a sad one, his eyes gathering tears before he shook his head and shoved the tears away. Now was not the time to be such a cry baby.
"You, um, kissed me. And I, I kissed you back. If I didn't want it, I would've pushed you away. So don't just pop up and make assumptions that I hate what you've done. It took me back sure, but.. I don't hate it and I don't hate you." He took a small pause, just to take a breath before he continued, "If I'm speaking the truth, I uh, kind of miss it. Maybe, or uh, definitely not to the time, but it felt like what the writers would write about in their books. It meant something to me and I'm sure it meant the same for you. So please, don't go again, I won't be able to put myself back together or put a proper smile. Everything was just -- meanless without you and when you suddenly appeared, my smiles held a whole different meaning. I'm definitely babbling right now, but please?" This time, he looked up at Izzy with the best puppy eyes he could make and hoped, just hoped that Izzy would stay and not run away. He leaned in and pressed a quick and reluctant kiss to the edge of Izzy's lips before drawing away.
- - i think i love you better now
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 15, 2016 0:08:46 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Even though for the beginning their first kiss, Kaoru didn't seem to be responding, Izzy was having trouble stopping himself. His lips were just too damn soft and what he'd longed for for so long now. And he wasn't pulling away even if deep deep deep down inside Izzy's subconscious was screaming violently at Kaoru to push him off. His shouldn't have been letting him. It didn't matter how right it felt to Izzy, this had to be some kind of illusion. Their bodies felt closer together then ever before, and if anything it had only added to Izzy's situation more.
When Kaoru's lips started to move, Izzy wondered briefly if he'd been knocked out and sent into dreamland without realizing it. It fueled the fire. The want. The intensity. Kaoru's arms wrapping around him made Izzy feel as though he was sinking into him. As soon as Kaoru responded, Izzy's kiss escalated into an even more passionate one. It was like his mind was receiving permission to continue what he was doing even if deep down he knew how wrong it was.
Y-you hate me?
He nodded lightly, not giving him a verbal response. He couldn't believe he'd even said such a thing in the first place, but he knew it was for the best. It was the only thing he could do after doing something like that. Maybe Kaoru would slap him despite his more timid nature. He wanted to be slapped. He deserved it after kissing him like that, even if he had kissed him back. Why... did he kiss me back? Izzy just had to assumed he was caught up in the moment. Or maybe even it was just Kaoru being sweet again, not wanting to hurt his feelings. There was no way Kaoru actually wanted that kiss. He should have kneed him. Punched him. Kicked him. Anything but submit to his stupid ways.
You don't. You never will hate me, Izzy. You wouldn't have kissed me, you wouldn't have done a lot of things.
Kaoru was wearing an expression that Izzy couldn't recognize, one that confused him. When Kaoru took a step forward, placing his hand on the wall next to his head, Izzy tried to take a step back. The only problem was that his heel hit the wall he was standing against. He had no way to go. He could push Kaoru out of the way to get free, but he knew that he could never do that. Maybe he could dive for the bed and then run to the door. He felt like he was at such a loss. Kaoru seemed so damn sure he didn't hate him. That kiss did far from make his point valid at all.
Stop pushing me away. It's unfair! Why are you the only one who gets to decide for both of us? You can't just put distance between us whenever anything happens between us. Please, don't say you hate me, I can't take hearing you say that to my face.
That unrecognizable expression was fading, and Izzy was sensing the sadness caused by what he said. He stared at Kaoru's blue eyes, eyes he never wanted to cause pain, and yet here he was. Izzy said nothing. He didn't respond though words kept slamming against all the walls of his head over and over again. They were all so mixed up, and he couldn't seem to put a valid response together. Kaoru just didn't understand. How could he if Izzy never let him in on what he was fully dealing with? This didn't feel like angry Kaoru, the one he feared getting again. He would have almost rather of had that then to have to sense the hurt he'd caused in him.
You, um, kissed me. And I, I kissed you back. If I didn't want it, I would've pushed you away. So don't just pop up and make assumptions that I hate what you've done. It took me back sure, but.. I don't hate it and I don't hate you.
Izzy couldn't understand how he could say that and sound so sure. "You should hate me..." His eyes lowered to Kaoru's chest, unable to look him in the eyes as he spoke those words quietly. Kaoru started babbling after that, words that Izzy made sure to register in his brain even if he didn't want to. It almost sounded like he was saying he liked it, but there was no way that could have been true. The fact that he still wanted him around was insane to him, and Izzy felt like he was only acting like it was alright so that way Kaoru would stay for whatever sick reason. Maybe he assumed his parents would be mad if they weren't friends or something.
Izzy's eyes went back to meet Kaoru's just in time to see the biggest puppy dog eyes he felt he'd ever gotten out of Kaoru. He felt like his heart was just going to drop right out of his chest. To top that off, he was leaning in again, giving Izzy a quick peck before pulling back. It was after that Izzy felt the tears welling up in his eyes, but he forced them back. He'd already cried in front of him once today, and he wasn't going to do it again. It didn't matter if he'd just made it feel like his heart had leaped out of his chest.
Slowly, Izzy brought his hand up and wrapped it around Kaoru's arm that was on the wall by his head. He swallowed hard, taking in a deep breath. His voice was stern, full of pent up rage and frustration, because the only thing he wanted to do in the moment was take Kaoru and claim him as his own. It was a vicious thought, knowing that it was wrong to try to own someone, but his mind just functioned that way. "I decide for both of us, because you don't understand." The grip of his hand on his arm tightened. "Whenever I'm around you, I loose it. I just fucking loose it." He couldn't keep his language tame for the other like he usually attempted, not when he was just so worked up.
His eyes were uncontrollably reflecting all of his greed now as he looked at the other. Though Izzy knew he could never tell Kaoru how much he loved him and wanted him in his life every second of every damn day, maybe he could scare him with some of the desire he felt for him. Maybe that would be enough to end this before he just ended up hurting Kaoru further by being such a complete screw up all the time with all of his emotions.
"And I can't control myself." He leaned in, this time going for Kaoru's neck instead of his lips. He gently kissed it before grabbing a hold of it with his teeth, being careful not to bite too hard despite the vicious words, and sucking on it, something that only intensified his desire for the other. His words might have claimed no control, but he knew that if Kaoru pushed him away or told him no that he would stop right there. Hell, he'd probably just shove past him at that point even though he was reluctant to do so the first time. It'd do less damage even if he'd just be running away again instead of putting an end to it all like he was so desperately trying to do now. He let go of his grip on his neck and lightly kissed the purple mark he'd left there. "I want you, Kaoru." He smirked, though his body was trembling.
He was so scared of what he was doing. He was so afraid of upsetting Kaoru, but he needed to push him over the edge to push him all the way away. He'd already gone too far, and even if he wanted him to stay, Izzy was just too afraid things would be so different now. His presence was just going to bring Kaoru a world of pain, because he doubted he would ever forget that kiss. Kaoru had to of just been trying to spare his feelings by kissing back. After all, he liked girls, right? Izzy wasn't a girl, and he'd never desired to be one regardless of the nail polish and the occasional eyeliner experiment. This whole thing probably disgusted him, despite what he'd said. Besides, Izzy was probably putting a damper on any romance that might have been trying to linger around, replacing it with nothing but his hunger.
"I've always wanted to play with your body." He did his best to sound as intimidating as he could manage for how afraid he was on the inside, knowing that any minute now Kaoru would have to let him go. "That's why I can't be around you." He started to kiss up his jawline, his free hand slipping up the front of his shirt and landing on his bare chest. "I told you time and time again how attractive you are." He gave a menacing chuckle, now feeling sick to his stomach despite the fact that he was touching him in ways he'd only dreamed of. He left of trail of kisses that stopped at Kaoru's ear. "How do you think I came to that conclusion?" I'm so sorry, Kaoru. Despite his voice being so steady and how hard he was fighting them, silent tears began to fall from his eyes. "You should probably be the one who learns to put the distance in the middle." Izzy pushed his lower body into Kaoru's, holding in a groan he wasn't quite willing to let go of yet. "What are you going to do, Kao?" He whispered seductively, tongue coming out to lightly brush against his earlobe, but immediately retreating it back into his mouth at the worry of going just a little too far. He wanted to scare him, not scar him. I'm so sorry... He repeated in his mind once again, feeling pain by what he was allowing himself to do in order to try and manipulate the situation. He could get a lot of things past a lot of people, but with Kaoru it always seemed to much harder that he had to work that much harder to make it believable. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 15, 2016 9:23:17 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, He knew if it was someone else who'd kissed him, he'd almost be alright with letting them go. That was not the case, Izzy was a whole different person, so none of his thoughts applied to him. It felt like a crushing weight on his chest, the mere choice of pushing him away sounded far away from his grasp. He could no longer think of it as a possibility. He never wanted his hand to be the one to push Izzy away from him, to put that haunting distance between the two of them. Perhaps by now, he would at least try to learn more about Izzy because that person in front of him was a whole different version from what Kaoru grew up used to. It scared him, sure, but it was just still.. him. Around this point, none of Kaoru's thoughts made any sense, perhaps that kiss shared between them was like a Red wine, with more cups, they'd begin to feel drunk out of it. Feeling that pleasure of colliding lips never sounded so appealing to him. Sharing a kiss should be a heavy step, not something to be shared after a date, even. Not to mention it sat him off to a whole different direction of wondering his own sexuality. He liked girls, he dated one, but he didn't hate Izzy and he didn't feel disgusted after the kiss.
Cornering Izzy, backing him into the wall until there was no more steps to take, colliding with the wall as he caged the other. He wasn't gentle, at least not with that action. He wanted to let him know that he was just done with Izzy putting up distance whenever he felt like it or whenever he'd done something irritational and by now, Kao grew accustomed to that, but never in a million years would he have guessed that Izzy would kiss him. He was his best friend and best friends doesn't kiss. If he was something else, self-aware of the situation, he would be able to put pieces together and complete the puzzle, but that was just not him, he was living in a dark place of his own, nowhere near self-conscious over his actions or how he looked. Izzy seemed to be battling a lot of thoughts in his head, his eyes were uneven and he even dropped them down to avert Kao's demanding gaze.
You should hate me...
He probably should. Just a possibility passing by him, but he never allowed that thought to take control of his actions. Kaoru just shook his head, stubbornly. If he allowed a nod to slip between them, he would never be able to fix it. It might break Izzy, it might break him, too. Kaoru knew that whatever horrible action his best friend would do, he wouldn't hate him. That's awful, for sure, but he just couldn't change that part and suddenly hate him for that reason. Kaoru was willing to forgive almost anything and if he forgave him for that 'mistake' of kissing him, things might go back to normal - just maybe.
Slowly, but surely, the puppy eyes seemed to be working on him. But then, he saw tears gather in his eyes and Kaoru's eyes widened. Izzy stubbornly pushed the tears away and his eyes slowly softened. He probably wouldn't have been able to take in that sad look, he would have stumbled back and apologized over and over for stepping over the lines by cornering him, barely thinking about the fact that Izzy broke the line when he crashed their lips together in a passionate kiss.
I decide for both of us, because you don't understand.
I never did. His thoughts replied back. That really seemed to be the case. Kaoru would just never understand. He never understood a lot of things, a lot of actions passed by him and he would lamely put a reason behind it, a reason that his mind would make up to allow Kao to feel better about it. He couldn't find an explanation for that kiss and he felt that if he asked about it, he would look very stupid. Just who in their right mind would question the motive behind a kiss? It just sounded so dumb. Izzy's hand wrapped around his arm, an action that made his eyes slightly widen, glancing at his hand before looking back into his eyes, just then, he felt the grip tighten around his arm, surely creating red angry marks on his arm, but it was easy to push past it when his best friend spoke again.
Whenever I'm around you, I loose it. I just fucking loose it.
It had been a while since Izzy spoke a bitter word, Kao wasn't a stranger to that language or the tone, for that matter. Right then, he felt as if Izzy had been trying so hard to keep his language tame for Kao's sake, hearing him speak like that gave away an odd vibe, an angry one or someone just too worked up to think rationally about what they are saying. The edges of his lips pulled into a light frown at that, trying to pinpoint the true meaning behind his words. How would that happen? How would he loose it? Looking back into Izzy's eyes, lips parting slowly to mutter his own confusion into a small sentence, his words down on his tongue when his blue eyes caught Izzy's eyes. His heart leaped into his chest rather violently, almost wanting to back away from that look. That look screamed a lot of things and Kaoru found his eyes reflecting his own shock. He wanted to question what was wrong with him, but he was afraid of hearing the answer.
And I can't control myself.
That should've been the head warning for Kaoru to back away, to break that tight distance between them, they could barely fit a needle between them for how close they were. His lips parted against his will when Izzy leaned down, though his lips met nothing more but the coldness of the air when Izzy's head ducked down and off Kao's line of sight with only few red hair sticking into his view. His mouth let out a small whimper at the pain then followed by a strange sound that sounded too foreign for him when that pain shifted into pleasure. Was he -- biting him? It was strange, that's for sure, but highly pleasant if the pain could be consumed. "Izzy.." He whispered, voice slightly broken and heart pounding hard in his chest.
I want you, Kaoru.
Despite the mid haze his brain was stuck in from the odd feeling of the other biting him, his eyes snapped wide. "Wh-what?" He questioned weakly, blinking a few times, his hand clutching tighter to Izzy's chest, biting on his lower lip to hold back the tremble. "What- what do you mean?" He questioned once more, wanting to hear it from Izzy instead of making scary assumptions as to what he was implying on.
I've always wanted to play with your body. That's why I can't be around you.
No words can make out Kaoru's feeling when he continued to hear Izzy whisper those words to his ear, it felt like a poison. It seeped into his system and lingered around, slowly infecting him from the inside out. His whole body shook, knees almost buckling when the other touched him underneath his shirt, breaking through what the fabric hid. "I-I," his mind could no longer function correctly, not with Izzy touching him like that or whispering those words to him. He probably should step back before Izzy does something he'd regret later on. Even in a situation like this, he was thinking about Izzy more than himself. He held onto Izzy, feeling how weak his knees were getting, they barely supported his own weight. His kisses left a trail of fire burning Kao's skin, a distant reminder of the boy's lips against his own skin.
I told you time and time again how attractive you are. How do you think I came to that conclusion?
The trail continued and Kaoru slowly found himself lulling his head to the side, presenting his neck to the other. His body was moving on its own, every rational thought told him to just push Izzy away with gentle words so he wouldn't leave completely. He could distantly remember Izzy telling him how attractive he was and he would sheepishly accept that compliment with a little smile or maybe an awkward chuckle. Right now, it felt different, it plagued his mind with different thoughts. Even his sighs came out trembling, his eyes were closed to hold back the tears, the same hand that was blocking the way for Izzy dropped down to clutch onto him rather pathetically. He should be pushing him away, not clinging to him. Push him, just do it..
You should probably be the one who learns to put the distance in the middle.
If Izzy restricted the groan, Kaoru surely didn't. It came out in a surprise, it made his cheeks heat upon recognizing the sound he just allowed to slip past his lips. The collide of their lower parts sent different shocks through his body, Kaoru hid his head into the other's neck in embarrasement, unable to meet his gaze anymore. "I-- I don't want to," his voice broke quite a few times just to be able to finish his sentence.
What are you going to do, Kao?
The choice fell back to him and the shuddering never stopped. The scent of the other suffocating him, shadowing over his thoughts completely. He could barely think straight around this moment, he only released a small sound. Maybe it was time for him to push the other away. Pulling away from the other's neck to look into his eyes, swallowing that seductive look in his eyes. His hands coming up to rest on Izzy's chest. "I-" he stopped midway, getting ready to summon enough strength to push Izzy away. Instead of pushing him away, Kaoru suddenly crashed their lips together. what am I doing? The question repeated in his head quite a few times, but his thoughts slowly got replaced by lust and slowly it consumed him.
His lips moved against Izzy, his hands sliding down to mimic Izzy's earlier movements, slipping them beneath the fabric to rest on his hips, slightly tugging him forward to collide their bodies together even more. He parted away a few moments later to catch his breath, supporting his weight by pressing his palm against the wall again, blue eyes eventually searching for Izzy's. "Does that answer your question?" Kao tried to sound.. seductive and boy, did he fail. It was far too weak to sound seductive or alluring. He ducked his head down to rest it on his shoulder again, this time, he had a different motive than hiding his face away. Okay, maybe that was one of the reasons. But his teeth slowly caught the flesh of Izzy between them and slowly, he bit. Releasing the flesh far too quickly before the mark could be created, pulling away with a guilty look. "S-sorry," - - i think i love you better now
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Application
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 15, 2016 13:26:13 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * Since they were kids, Izzy had managed to control himself, wanting to make sure to be someone Kaoru could always trust and come to about anything just as Izzy had always leaned on him for support. Somewhere along the way his thought process had gotten so much more jaded then he'd realized, and they weren't kids anymore. They were in their early twenties, and they weren't as close as they used to be all thanks to the effort Izzy had put in for that. Yet, Kaoru had found him, and it was like little had changed. That should have been enough, but his own wants had taken too much control. Now everything was changing. Everything had changed the moment Izzy had first kissed his best friend. Even if Kaoru would have been able to look past such a thing and turn a blind eye, there was no way Izzy would have been able to. With that first kiss, he'd already felt as though he'd completely betrayed Kaoru. There wasn't any coming back from that.
The whimper from Kaoru was enough to make Izzy sick, but the small noise afterwards cleared that all away. It was like he was receiving some kind of gratification for what he had done which made it okay, even if it didn't. The small sound made Izzy feel wild, having always wanted to know what Kaoru would sound like had he done the things he wanted to do to him. Sometimes he'd been such a creep that when he thought Kaoru might have been up to something, he'd stop outside his door to listen in, but unfortunately for him never heard a damn thing. To hear it now was almost too much, and it made the grip of Izzy's hand on his arm tighten still. He'd never heard anything better in his life.
Kaoru was tilting his head to the side almost like he was offering up his neck to Izzy. Izzy couldn't help but cringe inside, completely confused by why he was letting him do what he was. What are you doing, Kaoru? Push me! He wanted to scream at him, feeling like he'd gone too far, but he was so over whelmed with the pleasure of being so close to Kaoru that the words never even made it to his lips. Every kiss against Kaoru's neck pushed him further over the edge. It was so soft, and better then he'd ever imagine. The taste of him was greater then he could even describe.
A groan from Kaoru sent a shiver down Izzy's spine. It was even better then the noise from before, and Izzy felt heat rush through his entire body rather rapidly. He felt so flustered, so consumed by the other. Izzy's cheeks were red, and he was beginning to feel over-heated, not that it matter or would even stop him at this point. He often got hot when he thought about Kaoru in such a way, so it wasn't hard to believe his body temperature was rising so much from actually living one of his fantasies. The entire thing didn't even feel real, and there was such a bitter undertone to the situation. He shouldn't have been doing this, but it was too late. It would have been so much easier if Kaoru would have just ran away.
I-- I don't want to.
You have to! Izzy wanted to scream the words at him, but he couldn't. Did Kaoru understand what was going on here? Izzy felt like a complete monster, having spent a lifetime trying to protect Kaoru from everything, including situations like this. He hadn't been lying when he claimed to be the worst offender before. That was just too obvious now, enough so to wipe away any positive thoughts about himself regarding that.
As he seductively looked at Kaoru, there eyes met and the other's hands found his chest. Izzy was breathing heavier then usual as he stared at him, letting the pent up want swallow the look in his eyes fully. He waited, resisting the urge to do anything else for Kaoru to make a move, and then he did. Izzy's eyes widened at first, but it didn't take him more than half a second to close then and fall right into Kaoru's kiss. What are you doing? He wanted to ask him, but couldn't. Kissing him was too consuming as their lips moved together. He should have stopped. If Kaoru wasn't going to push away, then Izzy was the one who had to make the run for the door, right?
Kaoru's hands against his skin felt as though they were burning it in the best possible way. The closer he felt to the other, the more intense everything became. When Kaoru tugged him forward, Izzy was in disbelief and he trembled at the bolt of pleasure he got from the movement. He greedily kept pushing himself against Kaoru even if he was unable to physically get any closer. He wanted more, and that was all he could think about now.
Does that answer your question?
Izzy was staring at him with wild eyes, and he wanted to tell him it didn't, but no words came out. If anything, his actions just created more questions. As confused as he was, he enjoyed the way Kaoru's words sounded even if he was a little confused on how they were meant to be said. Everything he did was adorable to Izzy, and right now he felt that adorable was creating more of a sexy feel to it, one that Izzy felt guilty for thinking about.
When Kaoru's head found Izzy's shoulder, he wasn't expecting what came next. He was expecting him to just rest it there as another insane plea to get him to stay. What actually happened made Izzy's eyes widened and then slam shut. He was.... biting him. A moan escaped and Izzy failed to catch it. He let out a gasp afterwards, unable to believe he'd let that happen. The pleasure of the bite, regardless of any twinge of pain or how light it was, was incredible to him. He'd never felt anything like it. He'd seen things in movies before, but he never thought he'd actually experience any of them. It was because his mind had always been on one track, always reaching out for Kaoru. No one else would do, and this was Kaoru doing something to him he'd never thought possible. Izzy swallowed hard. Was any of this even real? It was so hard to tell now, but it felt so real.
S-sorry.
Izzy shook his head, releasing one of his hands to gently grab onto Kaoru's chin and try to guide his face up to look at him. He stared into Kaoru's eyes, trying to find a reasoning for any of this. He didn't understand why Kaoru was responding this way. Had his manipulation attempt for fear turned into manipulation for something else? Kaoru was going to regret this. He needed to run, yet he was closing his eyes again and pressing his lips into Kaoru's. Now he'd lost track of how many kisses the two of them had shared. In such a short amount of time, their lips had touched more times then Izzy could have ever hoped for.
His hand left his chin, and found it's way to Kaoru's back. He slipped it under his shirt one more before sliding a few fingers into the waist band of Kaoru's pants, emotions running wild and out of control. Then as if someone else was taking over, Izzy slid his tongue between Kaoru's lips, letting out a soft moan as he did before letting it explore the insides of Kaoru's mouth. Push me. He was pleading in his mind as he attempted to continue to kiss him in a way he'd never thought himself to be able to.
Izzy broke away, moving his head back to allow himself a moment to catch his breath. His eyes searched for Kaoru's again, now only filled with concern for scaring him rather then looking for gratification from scaring him. He couldn't have been sure when it'd switched around in his mind, but now he really just wanted to make sure Kaoru was feeling safe despite the way Izzy was acting. A hand moved up as he stared at Kaoru and he pushed his long blond hair behind one of his ears.
Stop, Izzy. You're going too far. He mind was warning him again, as both of his hands now went for Kaoru's shirt. This time, they were attempting to take it off of him. He grabbed onto the material on the bottom and began to lift it upward before stopping mid-way. Izzy looked frozen, eyes trembling, and a moment later he was letting go of his shirt. Finally gaining a bit of control, Izzy shoved Kaoru away in the direction of the bed, attempting to push him onto it so he'd had a safe landing rather than a harsh one on the floor. Knowing that any pain he might have caused him from the shove would have been less than if he'd kept going, he'd justified it in his mind. Staring over at him, breathing heavily, Izzy turned away and like a robot, turned his way to look at the door, slowly forcing himself to walk toward it though every inch of him wanted to slam back into Kaoru. He felt sick for multiple reasons, and his face just looked stunned. "I.... I'm so sorry Kaoru..." His spoke quietly before his movement speed picked up and he was practically making a dash for the door. He needed to run. He had to or Kaoru was going to be in trouble. He wouldn't have stopped, and any touch from Kaoru now and he'd be sent right back into it. If Kaoru was just going to let him, Izzy would have kept pressing on.
Before he could even reach the door, Izzy's foot caught on something and he went tumbling down face first into the floor. He rolled over, looking up at the ceiling. "Damn it!" He yelled as he started to sit up, getting ready to push himself off the floor. It felt like the entire universe was against him. Not only had he just thrown himself at Kaoru, but now he was making a complete idiot of himself. Kaoru was the clumsy one, but right now Izzy's body was too worked up to function correctly. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 15, 2016 15:05:57 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Each touch, each intake of breath shared between them and every glance took them away to clarity after facing a blurry line for so long. Their touches felt like gasoline and their bodies were like fire. Each touch burnt them, but the everlasting pleasure was a good promise at the end. Whoever pulled first, whoever touched first, it didn't matter to them. They were drunk off their touches and Kaoru slowly lost himself into it, breathing heavily through his nose while his mouth was occupied, his hands felt the skin of Izzy under his shaking fingertips, gripping hard to throw off the shakiness and to feel the skin better. Adrenaline surely pumping through their veins and heat pooling in their stomachs, making them both sink deeper into that one tangled mess. Hair caught in the middle, mouth tugged into a calm and passionate war of slipping them together, Kaoru never felt anything like that before, everything was heightened for someone who'd never been kissed that way, or touched, let alone the passion shared between them.
Confusion was the only thing common, aside from lust. They were controlled by some invisible power. Their bodies moved on its own accord, tugging each other closer to search for that moment of pleasure, Kaoru's whimpers died down, everything replaced with pleasure as their lips battled one another. After his soft apology, Izzy's hand found his chin to make him slowly look up to meet his gaze. Blinking a few times, Kaoru met his eyes before they closed once their lips crashed into one another again, and Izzy's tongue ran over the seam of Kaoru's lips, earning a gasp from him. Izzy's tongue took advantage of that opened gap between them and slid home. At first, Kaoru was shocked - unable to figure out the right movement, whether to suck in that tongue or move his own against it. The first meeting of their tongues sent something like an electric wave throughout his whole body. Kaoru's head tilted to get better access, suddenly he felt as if that experience was not his first, like he was some sort of experienced kisser. The sound that broke from Izzy was a pure sin, one that made Kaoru's heart flutter in his chest, he too, started letting out small noises. He could no longer recognize himself at this point.
The look that shadowed over Izzy's lust filled eyes was nothing but concern. It made it clear that even in a state like this, he would still care for Kao and make sure he didn't hurt him. Perhaps their kissing was a big surprise and for the first time he felt frozen in time, but he was responding back. He was just as guilty as Izzy was. He would rather sink into a pool of his own tears than admit aloud that the whole situation was nothing but a mistake. Head warnings stretched for miles ahead of them, they still paid them no care. Kaoru's eyes were always tugged by Izzy's like it held some sort of invisible magnet, even if they were surrounded by people, he'd still find his eyes. Warmth seeped into his heart when Izzy pushed the long strands behind one of his ears, the movement alone gave away the strong vibe of being caring and loving, he could see that now. Maybe it was one thing he could see with his own eyes and catch the meaning behind it.
No matter how willing he was, his knowledge ran around the field of kissing and touching. But exposing flesh to one another, letting his skin be kissed by the cold air of the room made his heart skip a beat. His eyes widened, a brief shock taking over him as the shirt moved up, up, before it stilled completely. His hesitant eyes found Izzy, he was starting to wake up from his haze as well. Suddenly, the wind slapped him in the face, his knees hitting the mattress, making him drop down on it. Shocked eyes searching for Izzy who had a whole ocean of guilt running through them. Parting his lips to say something, Izzy already shoved past that point by apologizing to him. One moment he was ahead of him, the second he was dashing for the door. He managed to only get up before he heard a loud thud on the floor, alerting the blond. Following the sound to see Izzy on the floor, he gasped and moved closer to him. His head came into the boy's line of view from above, looking down at him. "I-Izzy?"
Kneeling down next to him, he brushed away a strand of hair before letting go of a small sigh, disappointed by his tendency of running away. Moving closer, still on his knees, he got closer to the body on the floor before caging his head between his hands, he was now on his hands and knees on the floor next to Izzy. Looking down at his frustrated friend, arching a perfect eyebrow. "Really, Izzy? Running away again?" Kaoru sounded like a scolding parent if it hadn't been for the fact that he'd just made out with him. "Okay, you leave me no choice but to say it like that," Kaoru sucked in a sharp breath, still gazing down at his best friend. "Stop being a coward," Kaoru said with a stern tone, despite the flush, and despite his shaking hands. "Your thoughts are killing you, aren't they? They're screaming.. Kaoru doesn't want this, doesn't want that, he's scared of you.." Kaoru gave a light shake of his head. "That's not right. I make my own decisions, I decide how I want things to be. If I didn't want you kissing me, I would have stopped you, like I said before. So don't run from me or I'll be running after you as well, I don't give up on people I love, especially if they're considered family to me." Kaoru craned his neck from the painful position of dipping his head down uncomfortably. So he did what he thought could save him from the neck pain and sat down on Izzy's stomach with his knees on his sides. "Man up and take responsibility for your actions. You brought this on, so you might as well.. Y'know, uh, finish it."Kaoru blinked twice, realizing the end of his words and how odd it sounded coming from him out of all people. "Okay, I should definitely shut up now and I'm not getting off of you anytime soon, I find this quite comfortable." He also knew that now was not the time for a joke, but he just did it in hopes of rescuing the mood.
- - i think i love you better now
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Application
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Plotter
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25 posts
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0 likes
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I'm lost, please help me find my place. You're the only one, please lead me out of the dark.
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Authored by
Squishy
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University Student
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Post by Izanagi Kita on Apr 15, 2016 16:46:43 GMT
[attr="class","summer1"] [attr="class","banner"] my only one~ [attr="class","bigpic"] [attr="class","triangle"]◄ Made my mistakes, let you down. And I can't hold on for too long. Ran my whole life in the ground. And I can't get up when you're gone * How could this not be a dream? He was still expecting to wake up at any second to feel the cold bitterness of being alone despite the fact that it all felt so real. As his tongue explored the inside of Kaoru's mouth he felt a subtle movement made by him that allowed him to better venture around, and all he could really think was why? Why was Kaoru continuing to let this go on? In some twisted way, Izzy was actually beginning to believe that a part of Kaoru was enjoying this. Every little sound that came from the other made him actually feel like he was doing something right despite how wrong this all way. It was a boost to his confidence even though Izzy's self esteem was so low he was sure that no radar would even pick it up most of the time despite how well he played it off as though he had plenty to spare.
I-Izzy?
He looked up at him from the floor, face red though it wasn't from the embarrassment of falling. He was still so flustered by everything that had just happened, and his body was craving for more. Looking up at Kaoru's blue eyes was proof of that. It wasn't long before Kaoru was down on the floor next to him, sighing at him. Izzy tried to interpret what it was for? Was it because he'd made a fool out of himself by falling? He doubted that. It seemed to.... disappointed.
Really, Izzy? Running away again?
Yeah. It was definitely disappointment. Izzy frowned, unsure of what to say. He was running again, and this time he was going to run as far as he could make it. He'd screwed up past the point of return. He stared at Kaoru, eyes shifting a little into a more irritated expression at being called out on the obvious.
Okay, you leave me no choice but to say it like that. Stop being a coward.
The expression dropped right off of Izzy's face, his mouth agape as he stared up at Kaoru, eyes trembling. It was true, he was afraid. He just didn't really realize that Kaoru knew that. He was hoping that Kaoru just thought he was moody or kind of a jerk, not that he always dipped out because of fear. Then again, he was sure the kissing shared between the two of them had made it all rather clear to him.
Your thoughts are killing you, aren't they? They're screaming.. Kaoru doesn't want this, doesn't want that, he's scared of you..
Wow. Kaoru was right on the money with that one, and Izzy didn't even have any words to give him back. It was like he was reading his mind so clearly, and Izzy couldn't figure out if he'd just let his guard drop that much or if what had happened was pushing Kaoru to wake up and notice what was going on. He pressed his lips together, confused as he stared at the other, wordlessly.
That's not right. I make my own decisions, I decide how I want things to be. If I didn't want you kissing me, I would have stopped you, like I said before. So don't run from me or I'll be running after you as well, I don't give up on people I love, especially if they're considered family to me.
Izzy knew Kaoru loved him, but he was also pretty sure he wasn't in love with him like Izzy was with him. The word family stuck out to Izzy as he spoke. It was another concern he'd always had with his emotions. It was another reason he'd always refused to just refer to the Himura's as his parents, even if they basically were. That would be like admitting Kaoru was a brother to him, which didn't feel right in the least. He was just so much more to him then that, even if it was wrong because of their situation. If the Himura's heard about this, Izzy couldn't be sure what would happen. He'd probably be cast out of the family completely. He hadn't even ever told them about his complete lack of interest in women, always darting around the when are you going to get a girlfriend questions never wanting to answer with well, you see, I'm in love with your son and no one else will do awkwardness. The more he thought about that, the more he realized it would be worth it if he got to be this close to Kaoru. His eyes began to tremble once again. His mind wanted to go back to doing the same thing Kaoru had just called him out on, trying to tell him that Kaoru didn't want this so his thoughts were pointless. He tried to shake them out of his head.
Man up and take responsibility for your actions. You brought this on, so you might as well.. Y'know, uh, finish it. Okay, I should definitely shut up now and I'm not getting off of you anytime soon, I find this quite comfortable.
"Finish it?!" Izzy's right eye twitched. "Do you even know what you're saying?" He groaned, his body arching up against his will as if it was some how going to be able to bring him closer to the other sitting on top of him. "And I find this to be the opposite of comfortable," he grumbled, his pants feeling about as tight as they could possibly be in that moment.
Izzy grabbed onto the neck of Kaoru's shirt, using it to try and yank him down further so their faces would be close again. He was absentmindedly licking his own lips as he thought about Kaoru's words, as ridiculous as he considered them in the moment. He wasn't able to last very long before he pushed his lips into Kaoru's again, sent right back into the same frenzy as before. While kissing him, one hand found the back of his head while the other made it's way around his waist, and with the quick jerk of his body, Izzy attempted to turn them around so that he was the one sitting on top of Kaoru, leaning downward so he could continue kissing him, grinding the lower part of his body against him. His hands found the bottom of his shirt with much more confident then last time after what Kaoru had spoken. He started to push his shirt up this time, and stopped kissing him to attempt to pull it over his head, gathering the others long blond hair up to avoid pulling it.
Izzy sent a trail of kisses down his jawline, reaching his chest before kissing back up to find his ear once more. "If I finish it..." His words weren't seductive this time as he tried to get the words out. "There's no going back to the way things were. Not for me." He let out a deep breath. "And there will be consequences if anyone even finds out we were just kissing. No one else is going to get it, and they definitely won't like it." A hand absentmindedly moved up to run his fingers through Kaoru's hair once again, something he found himself enjoying quite often. "Do you understand that?" His head dropped down from his ear, and he buried his face in the skin of his shoulder. "I'm in love with you, Kaoru." Tears begin to fall down his eyes. He'd twist and manipulate those words away later, but if he was going to be near Kaoru like this now, he had to do it with honesty or he would never forgive himself. [attr="class","square1"] [attr="class","square2"] [attr="class","square3"] [attr="class","square4"] [attr="class","notes"] 1278 WORDS were written for Kaoru Himura — *coughs for days* [googlefont="Lobster"] [newclass=.summer1]width:500px;height:530px;background-image:url('http://i.imgur.com/yOw7ja5.jpg'); repeat: yes; border: 10px solid #8e6da0;position:relative:z-index:2;[/newclass] [newclass=.banner]width:420px;height:70px;margin-left:-120px;margin-top:30px;background-color:#5b1e74;color:#8e6da0;text-shadow:1px 2px 0px #6d298a;position:relative;z-index:3;font-size:8px;line-height:100%;[/newclass] [newclass=.bigpic]width:150px;height:500px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:5px;border:solid 1px #666666;float:right;margin-right:10px;margin-top:-91px;position:relative;z-index:4;[/newclass] [newclass=.triangle]font-size:29px; color:#6d298a;margin-top:-19px;margin-left:-348px;position:relative:z-index:-1;[/newclass] [newclass=.sumtext]width:300px;height:400px;background-color:#8e6da0;font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify; padding:10px; overflow: auto; line-height: 100%; color: #444444border: 1px solid #666666;margin-top:150px;margin-left:-50px;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".sumtext::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass] [newclass=.square1]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-10px;margin-left:-10px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square2]width:32px;height:32px;background-color:#8e6da0;padding:3px;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-40px; margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square3]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:3px; margin-left:-9px;[/newclass] [newclass=.square4]width:40px;height:40px;background-color:#5b1e74;margin-top:-40px;margin-left:76px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes"]width:150px;padding:15px;margin:auto;background-color:#8e6da0;color:#222;font-size:7px;text-align:justify;border:solid 1px #666666;margin-top:-147px;margin-left:175px;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar"]width: 3px; background:#f6f6f6;[/newclass] [newclass=".notes::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"]width: 3px;background:#000;[/newclass]
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25 posts
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1 like
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"You blew out the candles when we fell apart, I’m not childish, just scared of the dark."
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Authored by
Ash
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May 13, 2016 20:45:37 GMT
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University Student
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Post by Kaoru Himura on Apr 15, 2016 19:58:38 GMT
WORD COUNT BY MINNIE OF WW AND IT'S DARK ON A COLD DECEMBER, Kaoru never would've guessed a meeting between them would end like this, or perhaps the night was only beginning for the two of them. His burning touches left marks over his body, coloring his once pale flesh. It was a touch that he didn't mind, nor did he want to escape from it. If anything, he felt himself slowly missing it from how serious the night was starting to get. Izzy seemed to be on a long ride of emotions and Kao just wanted to figure out how to approach him without upsetting him. The situation was already on a thin line, threatening to fall and spill everything. Needless to say, the student fought hard to remain on his determined ground, unable to figure out any other path he could enter from. His lips were sealed, body burning from the wild touches, tamed by the shirt he was wearing and slowly, he started to feel uncomfortable as well.
To ever think Izzy wanted to do what he said before made his thoughts run wild. Just for how long was he feeling like that? How did he not catch up on it? Kaoru just couldn't grasp it. But the mere thought of causing him so much pain by not realizing his feelings sooner than later made him want to stab his own heart repeatedly or just slap his head quite a few times to give it a wake up call so he'd begin to realize everything around him. Izzy looked confused as he spoke and he just hoped he wouldn't lose his own voice in the middle, or it would be the end of his confidence, it would be the end of everything for his long speech of trying to set everything back on the right path. Right now, Kao barely thought of his parents, of what they'd think of their son if he ever announced his own sexuality of bouncing each side, of dating Izzy, the same boy they'd adopted into their family.
Finish it?! Do you even know what you're saying? And I find this to be the opposite of comfortable,
Kaoru blinked a few times before he gave his shoulders a light shrug. "Uhm, maybe?" He awkwardly answered, biting on the flesh of his bottom lip. When he arched up, Kaoru only managed to slip up an eyebrow, it gave away his confusion for a brief moment before he just slumped his shoulders down, he thought about taking it upon himself to bring himself closer to Izzy and end that torture for him. He gave a breathless chuckle at his complaint, "sorry." Kao sheepishly said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
He only managed to gasp when the wind hit his face and suddenly, his face was too close to Izzy's, they went back to sharing the same breath between them and he could only widen his eyes for a brief moment. Izzy killed his thoughts by that movement, he'd been trying hard to get enough courage to close the distance between them so he wouldn't have to arch his back like that and hurt himself. A quick battle of gazes rolled between them both, one that they both enjoyed for a moment or two. The spell was broken only when their lips collided with one another. He hummed against the other's lips, kissing him again was enough to distract his mind and just close his ears from all the voices around him and the light stomping just outside his door.
Quickly, he felt a shift in movements, one that Kaoru gasped about. He could only gasp through Izzy's actions, he was no longer protesting about any of it. His rational thoughts launched into space the second their lips met one another again. Without thinking twice, he accepted the kiss, his shaking hand coming to rest over Izzy's cheek, fingers disappearing into his red strands. Lower bodies grinding together and hasty movements shared between the two of them elected noises out of Kao's lips as his back slightly arched off the ground. The same fear came back when his shirt started to move up, revealing skin as it went up until it was ultimately left to him to take it off by cooperating. Perhaps he was shy, or reluctant about taking the next step and it felt like a great deal for him to reveal skin to the other. The debate in his head ended with him cooperating by raising his arms and arching his back off the ground to allow the shirt to be slipped off, he was grateful that he gathered his long hair to avoid pulling it because it would definitely cause him pain. His back met the cold ground, making him shiver violently at the cold touch, but Izzy's warm presence was enough to replace it with nothing more but burning heat.
If I finish it... There's no going back to the way things were. Not for me.
The strong sensation of being kissed around his jawline and how pleasurable it was for him, it was definitely a new experience for him. A feeling he was willing to discover with Izzy. He was willing to discover a lot of things with him and slowly, it was beginning to scare him as his field of acceptance stretched. He snapped out of his frenzy haze, blinking a few times to try and get his thoughts back together. Kaoru managed to nod, "I-I know," they wouldn't be able to pretend the next day that they were still friends and what happened the night before was nothing. "Do you mean that.. starting from tomorrow, you'll be my, uhm, boyfriend?" Kaoru asked, voice slightly shaky.
And there will be consequences if anyone even finds out we were just kissing. No one else is going to get it, and they definitely won't like it. Do you understand that?
Kaoru released a small sigh, his blue eyes seemingly a little lost as he thought of Izzy's words. He definitely enjoyed that touch through his hair more than anything, it soothed him. His hand coming up to rest on Izzy's cheek. "I.. I understand," he weakly answered back after gathering his voice that was scattered all over the ground after that soothing touch. How could he do something like that and expect Kaoru to just answer him right away?
I'm in love with you, Kaoru.
In love.. with him.. He wanted to say it back, but he barely knew the feeling. All he knew that he was feeling something in his heart. He just couldn't describe it. He was new to all of it and he was slowly opening his eyes to the world almost like a newborn child. "In love.. with me?" He whispered, running his hand through Izzy's hair, soothingly. "I-Izzy? Are you crying?" Kaoru's eyes widened, supporting himself on the ground so he slowly sat on the floor, still allowing the other to sit on his lap. "I love you, Izzy," he couldn't match the same confession, but he tried. Kaoru wrapped his arms around him in an attempt to bring him forward into a hug, patting his back. "Don't cry, please." He pulled away from the embrace to kiss his cheeks before bringing his lips close to Izzy's, attempting to leave a kiss there.
- - i think i love you better now
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